The Diary of 1 search for a new BBF (Best Bloggy Friend)!

Posted April 25th, 2008 by Jen in blog stuff, humor
11 Comments »

Warning, gentle reader: This is a spoof. I am not as shallow as Paris Hilton. This is merely poking fun at a ridiculous publicity stunt by a disturbed celebrity.

Welcome to the Diary of 1 search for a new BBF (Best Bloggy Friend)!! This is a reality bloggity show where only the best will win. As Paris says,

I just want to see the contestants and see how they are. I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, just as long as its someone I can trust, someone I can have fun with and just someone who’s going to be able to like handle all the other things that are going to come with being my best friend.

Wow, the word “just” three times in a mere two sentences. And the word “like” when it has nothing to do with being partial to something. Can I JUST say that one requirement for my BBF is a decent grasp of grammar. Go grab a Strunk & White if you need some help.

So, what else do I look for in a new best bloggy friend? Well, I’d have to agree with Paris, that since my blog is SOOOOOoooooo popular, I have to be careful. I can’t trust whether someone wants to be my blog friend or simply wants to get in on all my links and comments, so I turn to Paris for advice once again:

So when I meet new people, I’m always a little wary of the reason they may want to become my friend. I can usually just tell by when we’re out in public and there’s paparazzi around, I see, you know, who gets a little bit too excited or whatever.

And of course, Paris never gets too excited about the paparazzi. So watch your excitement level, please.

The next requirement for my BBF is that you divulge all your deepest secrets to me. Never mind that I’ve never met you in real life and probably never will, but I expect you to tell me your real name, the exact location of where you live, your personal email address and phone number, your user name and password so I can access your admin section and blog stats, the opportunity to guest blog on your own site, AND I want you to reveal every tip you know about increasing blog traffic. Once again, straight from the horse’s mouth, I find the elusive best friend advice:

Just people who are fun, people who I know are going to be great on TV, people who have fun personalities, they’re not shy, the people who tell their deepest secrets, people who are open to being honest and having a great time. That’s what my show’s about.

Oh, and knowing how Paris loves other beautiful people, I would also like my BBF to have the slickest looking blog format around. No overused templates, please. My BBF will have a high-end custom job with all the latest widgets and a stellar Technorati authority.

Now, on with the show!! I’ll be on the lookout for blog comments on every single post, personal emails, high participation in all my contests, lots of blog awards, gobs of links, thousands of clicks on my google ads, subscriptions to my RSS feed — just think, YOU could be the next Diary of 1 BBF!! Just being my best bloggy friend will make you instantly famous.

And of course, I would never assume that you’re a fortune hunter. I’m sure all the 6 million page views and the thousands of freaks folks who have posted profiles and videos at Paris’ new BFF site are from normal people just looking for a good friend, who care nothing about fame, because all of Paris’ other friends are just normal people.

You can post your BBF profile on your own blog, or in my comments below, and tell me why I should choose YOU. Let the auditions begin.

Tags: best blog friend, best friend contest, BFF, humor, Paris Hilton, spoof