Merry Christmas from Diary of 1

Posted December 24th, 2009 by Jen in family life, holidays, parenting
5 Comments »

Christmas Eve day. What a day of bustling, cheery, frantic activity for us. We’ve been sweeping the dropped needles, clearing out every dust bunny we can unearth, fine-tuning the best pie crust recipe ever, and generally preparing for this most special of times.

The last of the Christmas cards went out yesterday; mine via email due to lack of time or resources - I do apologize if this is too tacky for your taste, I don’t particularly like it either; and my mother’s via post.

My mother. Four Christmas cards were prepared for Uncle Doug, three for Aunt Pat, and duplicates for several others. It’s her mind. I usually run interference and rescue the bonus cards (and their accompanying stamps), but this time, I sent them all. They need to know, right? Oh, a terrible thought, what if they think they’re the ones going crazy? :-)

Jane is coming for dinner tonight. I ran into her at the grocery store last week. She was in the baking aisle, putting along in her electric chair with oxygen tubes giving her breath. She wept tears of joy upon seeing us, me and JoJo who loves her like a Grandma. It’s not like it used to be when we lived half a block away from her sunshine yellow house and visited several times a week.

“Can I bake you some cookies?” she wanted to know. Of course I replied. I missed her 85th birthday and feel terrible about that. It’s a few days from Thanksgiving, and what a time to try to remember a birthday. Her mind is yet sharper than my mother’s, so I know she noticed. We’ll make it up to her. I’m just wondering how I’ll get her into my van and how I’ll keep my five year old from tripping over the miles of oxygen tubing.

My two girls are scrubbing toilets as I write, and the older sister, just eight, asked if this can now be her job. “Since we haven’t been composting as much (her other main job), can I be the toilet scrubber?” Who knew it was such fun. Note to self: meaningful jobs make kids feel a mile tall.

Well, Merry Christmas to all! Hold your dear ones tight, reach out to a soul in need, and love, as we have been loved by our Creator.

Technorati Tags: Christmas, elder care, seniors and aging

Dang, the kid can color!

Posted October 25th, 2009 by Jen in arts & crafts, education, family life, parenting
10 Comments »

I’m not one to pay much attention to developmental milestones in my children. But my five year old boy gives new meaning to “color inside the lines.” Here is what he accomplished last week, all in one sitting.

I thought it was pretty cool, my husband thought it was pretty freaky. “Did you notice how he colored every shape the same color?” he asked incredulously. While father was proud of his son, he wondered at the sophisticated color patterns and the precision of his little strokes. Talk about fine motor skills.

Had I not observed him complete this entire masterpiece, I wouldn’t have believed it. I remembered being annoyed with him for stomping around the room in frustration because he couldn’t find yellow. Apparently, he had run out, and no other color would do. He found what he wanted, and continued.

So, could you do as well? Not me!

Technorati Tags: art, art for children, coloring, developmental milestones

Boy’s eye view of science

Posted August 25th, 2009 by Jen in education, family life, features, parenting, science
9 Comments »

My favorite photo from last week is my 10 year old son putting together his “Snap Circuit Set.” He needs a more advanced electricity kit because he does this one by heart and so fast it would make Franklin and Faraday spin.

But he still loves it. What is it about boys and energy/power? Not that girls aren’t into this, I do have a daughter who loves to dabble with this electricity kit as well. But notice I said “dabble.” I certainly give my girls every opportunity I give my boys, and my 8 year old daughter rides a motorcycle right there with her big brother. But still.

Anyway, just look at his intensity and concentrated tongue as he eyes the invisible current; curious, so curious.

My blog theme this month was supposed to be something about mothers being present with their children. I haven’t written much, I’ve been busy. But a good sort of busy and doing what I can with the kiddos in the midst of busy-ness. I suppose I would just recommend to moms out there to include your children in whatever it is you are doing, and include yourself in whatever it is they are doing.

The jobs I give my children I do with them as much as I can. The girls are responsible for the kitchen. Since they can’t reach the cupboards, it means I have to be in there as the hand-to person, grabbing each plate and bowl as fast as they pass them up. As my boys tend the garden, watering and weeding, I will sit with my coffee and marvel with them at how tall the sunflowers have grown, and rejoice with them over the size of the squash.

I was careful to let my son know that I would love to take a picture of him as he constructed a current. This meant a lot to him. My daughter wanted to know that I took a picture of her, too, which I did. This wasn’t about them being proud of being in the spotlight, it was about Mom caring and noticing that they did something noteworthy.

She’s a Biologist

Posted July 9th, 2009 by Jen in family life, parenting, science, the ranch
8 Comments »

“Mommy, can I cut the lizard open?” JJ questioned very matter-of-factly. She had just come in from checking on her latest lizard, a big fat one she was sure was pregnant with dozens of eggs. She had felt little bumps inside the bulging belly of the western fence lizard, and this eight-year-old child with a bent for biology made the expectant diagnosis.

Sadly, she discovered this morning that her lizard was dead. She was curious. And maybe she could save the eggs. Frankly, I know nothing about lizard anatomy and may not know a lizard egg if I saw one. But I’m sure this girl would know. She has an instinctive nature when it comes to the study of living things. She loves animals, and her desire to cut open the lizard is inquisitive not cruel.

“That’s a-skusting!” cried the little brother. “Not while we’re making muffins!” asserted the little sister.

JJ brought me a paring knife. She’s a persistent girl, a trait that alternately drives us crazy and makes us proud. Am I ready for a dissection? Do I let her explore?

Technorati Tags: Central Oregon, children’s biology, creation, lizards, nature study

Swimming in April?

Posted April 5th, 2009 by Jen in family life, parenting, the ranch
7 Comments »

I thought I was celebrating spring, not summer. But I have brave kids.

Central Oregon, April 5, 4:00 p.m., 66 degrees. I’m wearing a sweater. But blue sky, bright sun, and no wind all make for swimming in April, at least for these country kids.
It innocently began with chasing jackrabbits, then some water-play, soon followed by a child streaking in to ask for a cork to plug the pool and fill it. Being busy with paperwork, and seeing no harm, I acquiesced. I figured they’d be far too cold once the water started flowing and it would come to an abrupt end, but no, the splashing and shrieks of delight went on for at least an hour.

I love my daring young girls and boys!

Technorati Tags: Central Oregon, childhood memories, family, swimming, outdoor activities

Cole Family Christmas: A Treasured Tale

Posted December 24th, 2008 by Jen in book reviews, education, family life, holidays, parenting
7 Comments »

“Do the flying Hilda!” JJ shrieked in delight to her brother as he hung over the balcony, swinging a little plush goat. With four young children in the house, nothing surprises me anymore, not even a goat madly flapping through the air, puppeteered from above whilst a child below scrambles to grab it.

This newest plaything came with a book, Cole Family Christmas, which I read to the children a few nights ago. As the fire crackled before us and little ones snuggled in my lap, this heart-warming story of an Appalachian family struggling in a 1920s coal mining town became an instant family classic.

Cole Family Christmas is based on the true story of the Cole Family - Mama and Papa and their nine children, set in the small company town of Benham, Kentucky. Co-written by the youngest and only surviving Cole child, 88-year-old Hazel Cole Kendle, along with her granddaughter-in-law, Jennifer Liu Bryan, this is the tale of one special Christmas in the heart of the Appalachian coalfields.

Of course, there is a special personality in this mountain memoir called Hilda the goat. Despite the wonderful character development and authentic dialogue of every member of the cast, my children latched onto Hilda. They loved it when little Ruble was awakened one morning with a rough push from Hilda, sending her tumbling out of bed. All of Hilda’s minor appearances were relished.

The rest of the afternoon was occupied with the children’s play, which they performed for their delighted parents. Ruble’s goat provided much comic relief by alternately trying to eat parts of the Christmas tree and Mary and Joseph’s robes. “Another reason not to have goats in the house,” Mama said in a mock stage whisper.

The deep significance of the story goes beyond the antics of a goat, however, and is found in the beauty and simplicity of these family memories, which culminate in the Christmas morning giving of gifts that speaks a tender message about sacrificial giving and cheerful receiving.

Illustrations in Cole Family Christmas are done by Jenniffer Julich, who skillfully depicts Appalachian life with just the right mix of family love and tough times. The pages are bordered with six different vintage Christmas-themed fabric designs, based on Mama Cole’s quilt. Great care was taken by Julich to accurately portray the essence of family life in Benham, including visits to the Kentucky Coal Mining Museum and with residents of Benham, Kentucky.

As a read-aloud book, Cole Family Christmas is a hit. Its 74 pages were a bit lengthy for one sitting for my youngest, so I split it into two sessions. The book includes a nice mix of activity including both boys and girls, so it appealed to my family of two boys and two girls. The girls were absorbed in Ruble’s yellow ribbons and Mama’s glass bowls; the boys were intent on Dock’s work at the railroad, collecting iron scraps and fallen lumps of coal.

If you have an Appalachian heritage, this book is a must for your collection. This is my dad’s heritage, so Cole Family Christmas belongs in my library. If Appalachia is not a part of your personal history, I would still suggest discovering this rich culture that has a special place in the fabric of American life.

The publisher, Next Chapter Press, is contributing a percentage of the net proceeds of sales of Cole Family Christmas to the Berea College Appalachian Fund.

The Berea College Appalachian Fund supports organizations working to improve the health, education and general welfare of people living in the Appalachian Mountains and surrounding areas.

By the way, Hilda is the official spokesgoat for ReadAloud.org, an organization supporting family literacy and urging families to read aloud to their children every day.

Do you have a favorite Christmas story, either old or new? My encouragement to you today: record your family Christmas memories–you just may have a story someday!

Technorati Tags: Appalachia, book review, Christmas story, children’s books, Cole Family Christmas, Hilda the goat

I think he’s in love with me!

Posted December 11th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion
10 Comments »

I sat holding my four year old son last night, cherishing the moments that are so fleeting. He began a long and lovely conversation with me that went something like this:

Mommy, you are beautiful! Your hair is beautiful, your skin is beautiful, your “these” (pointing to my eyebrows) are beautiful, your arms are beautiful, your fingers are beautiful, this thing on your finger (my ring) is beautiful.

He went on. And on. We all need to hear that sometimes!! It was a long and exhausting day and I sat rather crumpled in a chair, and when he came to climb in my lap, I wasn’t so sure I had the energy for this. But I was wrong. I always have the energy to listen to how beautiful I am. :-)

Our Father in Heaven thinks we are all beautiful, and I believe He chose to tell me that last night through my precious little boy.

Tags: beautiful, Bethany Dillon, children

Simple Woman: November 24

Posted November 24th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, the ranch
5 Comments »

For Today...Monday, November 24, 2008

Outside my window…the dark of early morning, but day will break within the hour. I see the bold outline of Juniper trees against the rising sky which now displays several horizontal streaks of the palest pink clouds, changing every second, it seems.

I am thinking…why can’t I get more done? I really, really need to prioritize my time and focus.

From the learning rooms…Big L wants to be a candle-maker. Ever since Friday, when the kids made candles at school, he goes around in the evening turning off lights and walking around with his small lit candle.

I am thankful for…very naturally, my children and husband and home and land. A new friend, good coffee, a surprise thank-you letter and chocolate from my students at school.

From the kitchen…my husband making coffee and getting breakfast for the kids.

I am wearing…a long sleeved white shirt, brown vest, jeans, socks.

I am reading…The book of Mark. The Call of the Wild and The Egypt Game with my students.

I am hoping…for a safe and pleasant trip on Thanksgiving as we visit family.

I am creating…(trying my best to create) a peaceful and happy home full of the joy of the Lord.

I am hearing…JoJo singing to herself/talking to herself as she sits at my feet in her fuzzy robe, flipping through a coloring book.

Around the house…the one room full of boxes from our move–I must tackle this!! I need to return a movie to a friend and can’t find it! It’s in there somewhere.

One of my favorite things…Sunday mornings talking about the Lord with my family. Teaching our children. Walking about our property searching for any interesting thing–bones, feathers, rocks, nests.

A few plans for the rest of the week…getting caught up with our business and ordering the product we need for Christmas sales.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…(me at the ranch…my daughter took the picture, she’s still learning…)

Hosted by the Simple Woman.

Technorati Tags: family life

Text Messaging: Concerns for the Adolescent

Posted November 22nd, 2008 by Jen in education, family life, parenting
14 Comments »

I’ve been thinking about text messaging and whether parents are concerned about their child’s use of this social media. My own children are too young for this and don’t have cell phones; however, as a middle school teacher, I’ve been seeing how widespread texting has become, and I have concerns.

A parent of one of my students was recently telling me about her 12 year old son receiving “interesting” text messages from a female classmate; another friend related how her 7th grader regularly receives dozens of texts a day up to 11 p.m. from classmates and friends of both sexes.

Is texting just akin to the talking on the phone that we parents engaged in as young adolescents? Some things to consider:

Texting gives your child a privacy in conversation that he or she may not be ready for, and may be inappropriate.

Texting allows for an immediacy in written conversation that opens the door to impulsive, potentially hurtful words.

Texting removes the inhibitions of face-to-face or even over the phone conversations, and may result in inappropriate messages.

Text messaging is a simple idea, but despite its extreme brevity is really a complex form of communication, simply for the lack of context (i.e., emotion, expression, descriptive words) it provides for any texting conversation.

Some suggestions for adolescents regarding text-messaging:

1. Consider the worst possible interpretation your words could have, or the worst possible situation that could result from them. Know that text messages, especially abbreviations, can be unclear or ambiguous, and not read how you intended.  

2. Don’t have extended conversations via text messaging. This opens the door for every sort of problem, like miscommunication, misunderstanding, and hurt feelings.

3. Don’t be impulsive. Be mindful of your words. (This is a great rule of thumb for any kind of communication.) Text-messaging has a great potential to be a cyber-bullying tool. Or gossip tool. Or flirtation device. Or (fill in the blank).

4. Use texts to communicate information or facts, not feelings. If it’s getting too personal or intimate, stop. Personalize it with a phone call or in person, and if that thought makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn’t be texting this message.

Parents, consider putting strict time/place/person limitations on your child’s text-messaging, such as “no texting after 7 p.m,” “no texting in your bedroom,” or “no texting with members of the opposite sex.” Or simply, “no texting.”

Dear reader, what do you think of text-messaging among young adolescents? Are you a parent with experience in this area? Do you feel helpless at the hands of modern social media? What rules have you instituted in your household?

Technorati Tags: cell phone, youth culture, cyber bullying, social media, text messaging

Sleepover with an 84 year old friend

Posted November 15th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, the ranch
15 Comments »

“Jane is spending the night,” I announced to my kids yesterday. From the wild whoops of joy that followed and the “happy dance” of my five year old, no one would guess that Jane was not a favorite classmate, but an octogenarian.

Part I of the story of Jane is here, and now I’ll give you a bit of Part II.

This lovely sun-drenched November morning found Jane and Little L in their jammies at the breakfast table. “Gram- I mean, Jane,” began Little L, in the usual way of my children, who, as many young children, mistake any dear older person in their life for a grandparent, “do you want to play a game?”

It’s been over four years since we met Jane, and as I told you in Part I, she was the neighbor whom I sought out as a friend for my mom. It turns out that Jane is a friend to our whole family, and especially to me. I began writing Part I when Jane was beginning chemotherapy for her breast cancer. I had no sense of whether she’d make it or not, and wanted some kind of record of her place in our lives.

Over the course of the year of her cancer, I drove Jane to countless doctor visits and treatment sessions. Thankfully, she had a cheerful-spirited oncologist who didn’t mind my four young children in tow, and a time or two he even proudly held my baby (Little L). It was a year of vacuuming her floor, bringing her groceries, and hopefully modeling for my children how (and why) to care for our elders.

At many points, I was sure Jane would die, and dreaded having to call her only son in Canada. What would I say to him? The chemotherapy made her so sick she was unable to even walk. Jane is a feisty old lady, however, and quit her chemotherapy treatments halfway through, refused radiation, and took her chances. Her doctor was baffled and a bit angry with her - someone with cancer in her lymph nodes shouldn’t take chances.

By the grace of the Almighty God, Jane survived, and as we enjoyed our coffee this morning, I pondered how she has developed a relationship with all the generations in my household - from my children, to my husband and me, to my mother. We moved to the country and don’t get to see her as much as we did when she was a few houses away, but I believe we’ve managed to cement a lifelong connection.

Jane will be 84 in a few weeks, and we were having an early celebration. What an amazing, divine appointment for us to have met, to help her on this journey. And the blessing on my children I consider to be immense. How many four, five, or nine year-olds cherish an “old lady” the way they do? I know I didn’t when I was young. The kids suckered Jane into games of Sorry, Hi-Ho Cheerio, and Monopoly by the time she left.

And Jane is still my mom’s only friend here. I tenderly watched them chatting on the couch last night. “When I was in Niagara Falls,” Jane began, relating a story from her childhood. “My dad was from Buffalo,” my mom interjected, “I don’t think that’s too far from there.” “Thirty-five miles,” Jane replied.

It was a slumber party that didn’t include staying up late or pillow fights. Our twice-widowed guest needed help walking up the stairs and a gentle reminder of where the bathroom was. But I will tell you that a sleep-over with an 84 year old is a marvelous thing, a mix of fading memory and wisdom woven into meaningless details.

Technorati Tags: Alzheimer’s, cancer, breast cancer, elder care

The Anniversary

Posted October 22nd, 2008 by Jen in family life, humor, parenting
16 Comments »

Two days after our wedding anniversary this year, my husband says to me, “Honey!! We forgot it! Again.” An even dozen deserves to be remembered. But we both are wise enough to know that the act of timely recalling a significant date is not nearly as important as what’s in our hearts on a daily basis.

Which is why he didn’t watch my face with apprehension as he broke the news, but burst into a sheepish, roll-your-eyes kind of laugh, knowing I would join him in making fun of ourselves — what! we’re not even 50! At least we remembered in the same month. For all the special people whose birthdays we forget, you can see that we are no respecter of persons (um, that doesn’t mean we don’t respect people…it’s a phrase that means we don’t discriminate!).

Again. My husband added that word to his announcement because, yes, indeed, we’ve done this before. Most memorably, it was our 7th anniversary. We were about to sell our first house. It was a small 1970s home with low popcorn ceilings and dreary, dark cabinets–at least that’s what it looked like before my husband went on a remodel craze. He completely updated the place, tackling everything from that horrible ceiling texture to the trim to the windows, and even added on another bedroom, bathroom, and family room.

At the very last minute, I, who had offered nothing to the entire project (except birthing babies and changing diapers, which, as all mothers know, is essential to any long-term home enterprise), decided that the 1970s brick fireplace MUST go. I recommended retiling it with slate. Fine, except we had the house on the market and a couple traveling from another state to look at the residence in two days.

Women can be impulsive like that. Especially nursing mothers whose hormones are still totally out of whack. Miraculously, my extremely fussy artistic (and surely sick of remodeling) husband agreed and even trusted me to pick out the slate myself at Home Depot. People, I can’t even hang my own pictures in the house! But it was clear that this last remaining vestige of the 1970s was an eyesore amongst the otherwise upgraded design.

This is how we found ourselves on that August night five years ago, him mixing mortar and laying stone, me cutting (yes, running a motorized, acutely sharp object in my hormonal state!) squares of slate as he marked them. We worked at a frantic pace, with me occasionally having to stop to nurse the baby and check on the toddlers. I pondered our sanity. Our buyers would arrive the next day.

Sometime about 4 a.m., as I joined him at the fireplace in laying slate over dated brick, desperately wondering if we’d make it, he looked at me with bleary eyes and mortar-smeared hands and face. With a bit of a startle he announced, “Honey, it’s our anniversary!” We were utterly exhausted and filthy dirty, but working side by side and enjoying our combined efforts–not a bad place to be. We laughed and wished each other a most sincere “Happy Anniversary.”

I’m just glad it was him that remembered first.

We’ve promised each other that next year we’ll remember. We have the best of intentions, but it’s safer for us to treat each day as a special one, cherishing every moment of our crazy life, not saving our best attention for one certain day.

Tags: anniversary, fireplace, marriage, relationships, remodel, wedding anniversary

Frugal Field Trips

Posted August 20th, 2008 by Jen in education, family life, features, parenting, science, the ranch
12 Comments »

Local field trips for children are lurking around every corner, even in some everyday places if you recognize the opportunity. Every town will have its own unique chances for family excursions, but here are a few around my Central Oregon town for the budget-minded.

The Greenhouse
I needed to buy some houseplants that would survive in very low light, so an outing to the greenhouse turned into a field trip. The owner happened to be there, and was gracious enough to lead my four children through the aisles of hanging ivy and water fountains, all the while instructing us on the names of the various plants and the best methods of transplanting and when to do so. Annuals, perennials, vegetable plants, hanging baskets, herbs…he noted everything as we passed. The kids caught maybe half of what he breezed through, but what they surely caught was his love of plants!

Many greenhouses offer organized field trips for school groups, and this one was no exception. While my group (my family) just walked in as customers to make a purchase, they were still very accessible and education-minded. It’s important to note that this was a small, locally owned nursery, and these are the best ones, in my opinion, to approach for an educational tour.

If, like me, you’re not looking to schedule a full-blown field trip, just try asking questions, and you’ll probably discover that the employees are fairly eager to pass on some knowledge, especially when you have children asking their own questions as well. You may want to take a few minutes before entering the greenhouse to prep your kids for the experience, and “plant” some questions in their heads to get them thinking, and encourage them to be inquisitive (but polite).

The Ranch
We happen to have some friends who raise Clydesdale horses, and this is where I would insert my recommendation to take advantage of friends like this! Not in a negative way, mind you, but if you have friends or family members who have a unique or unusual business, you don’t want to pass up that opportunity for your children to learn a thing or two.

So, our friend Alisha invited my family and a few others out for a “horse lesson,” as my daughter said. This daughter is my equine lover and longs for her own trusty steed. My girl was counting down the days until this trip, dutifully marking her calendar. I only wish the cowboy boots from Grandma had arrived before this trip–but it’s okay, the boots have seen plenty of action since. Alisha did a fantastic job of walking the kids through her stables and introducing the children to the various horsey things that seem to enchant young ones.

Before the kids left, they had all helped to groom several horses, feed them, pick their hooves, ride around the corral, and choose their own horseshoe to take home.

I think this was the favorite field trip of the year. All the families involved were so thrilled to have this visit to the ranch. I know this isn’t a feasible option for many of you who don’t live in the country or know ranchers/farmers. But I’ll bet if you sat down and really thought hard, you’d come up with someone you know in an interesting field of work who just might welcome a few kids into their daily routine, and maybe even enjoy it as much as the kids.

The State Park
We live near a gorgeous state park, and it costs just $3.00 to park and hike for the day. This is a great option for a field trip that incorporates natural science, geology, and even art.

If you go to this particular state park in the summer (Smith Rock in Terrebonne, Oregon), plan an early start to avoid heat stroke, and pack a picnic lunch and a sketch pad/pencil.

There is a perfect covered overlook with several large picnic tables which looks down on this breathtaking view you see here. I love this spot for the chance to have the kids sit and sketch the scenery and really notice the amazing rock formations and the gentle curves of the river.

Sometimes, I’ll have the kids stop and gather some leaves to look at later, but mostly it’s just a tremendous location that we never tire of.

The kids will of course discover caves and rabbit trails and rocks to climb. There are several large boulders they routinely climb up, nearly giving me a heart attack, but I forget what I was like as a child. The older I get, the more cautious I become and the more afraid of heights I get!

One nice feature about most state parks are the plaques of geologic or historic information planted along the way. Don’t rush past these if you want to get the most out of your field trip. I usually have a different opinion about some of the geologic timelines given in the typical state park plaque, but what a great learning opportunity to discuss these issues.

My kids often ask as we drive by Smith Rock, “Mommy, how did that get there?” and I can remind them of the plaque we read, with the illustrations of the volcanic explosion, and it all comes back. My older son now stops to read the plaque aloud to the other children and plays tour guide.

Oh my, there are so many other wonderful little trips we make around town. I may have to do another post to tell you about the museums, the free concerts, the goat farms, and even how to turn a trip to the grocery store into a field trip. I spend very little money on these outings, and I mostly stay local, but I’m discovering that what makes a valuable experience for one’s family is an eager attitude about learning. The ability to spot a teachable moment paired with an inquisitive spirit will bring many frugal field trips to your front door.

What frugal field trips does your town offer?

Technorati Tags: Central Oregon, education, family life, Clydesdale horses, nursery, greenhouse, outdoors, field trips, frugal, plants, ranch, Smith Rock

It’s all in the glasses.

Posted June 24th, 2008 by Jen in family life, humor, parenting
14 Comments »

“Your students would really like you, Mom.” My almost 9-year-old son was speaking in a serious voice, knowingly pointing to his head. I was a classroom teacher before I had all these kids, and I was talking to my young ones about teaching.

I smiled, completely warmed by his sweetness. “You know,” he continued, “they would think you are really intelligent.” More warming, and even little pitter-patters in my heart. What a kind-hearted, encouraging boy, he thinks Mom is smart!

“You really think so?” I say, hoping for more of these lovely compliments. Having been his teacher for the past few years, it’s good to know that he values my brilliance, my astute nature, my…

“Of course, Mom!” he states matter-of-factly. “It’s the glasses. They make you really smart.”

Oh. The glasses. That’s what he so knowingly pointed to, not my clever brain at all. Ahem. Adjusting my glasses here. So, would you like to know where I purchased my super-powered glasses? Because I’m sure you all want a pair now.

Tags: children, humor, motherhood, parenting, teaching

Revisiting Father’s Day

Posted June 15th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion
8 Comments »

I was commenting today over at Tipper’s blog, Blind Pig & the Acorn, on her Father’s Day post, and I’m reposting my comment right here, because it’s a good follow up to my previous post. Tipper blogs about her Appalachian heritage, a favorite subject of mine (with my own Appalachian father from the hills of West Virginia), and I’m seeking to reclaim some of those roots. Tipper’s post asked for three random facts about your dad.

Tipper, … I wrote a short paragraph today about being “fatherless.” You know, I had a father, and when I was 12 or 13 years old, my parents separated, I moved to a different state with my mom, and I never lived with my dad again. I only saw him a handful of times after that before he died of lung cancer.

But the childhood I had with him until that age, it was difficult. He was an alcoholic and a distant, often angry father with many of his own troubles. However, I’m learning, the older I get, that it’s wise to still search for the good things, and even pray for God to reveal some sweet forgotten moments. There’s a lot of healing in setting your mind to this, so here are three things about my dad:

1. He was so very proud to be Appalachian.

2. He loved to plant things, and most of his energy went into his black walnut grove.

3. He was a carpenter by trade, and my memories are of him *always* wearing his white carpenter’s overalls, with hammer always hanging on his pants and nails in his pockets, ready to build.

p.s. Julie has a blog tag about an “a-ha!” moment you’ve had this week, so this will count as mine! Go check it out and see if you can come up with something, and if you’re reading this and would like to play along, consider yourself “tagged.” And if you also have some things to share about your dad, visit Tipper.

Technorati Tags: family life, Father’s Day, Appalachia, fatherless, childhood memories, God, relationships

For the Fatherless on Father’s Day

Posted by Jen in family life, parenting, religion
9 Comments »

I am fatherless. On Father’s Day, I celebrate my husband as father of our children. But I’m still reminded that I am fatherless. You say God is my father. I’ve heard many, many sermons about how even if you don’t have an earthly father, God is your heavenly father, and that makes everything right -but I’m still understanding and accepting this concept.

It’s an amazing truth, though, and taking hold of God as Abba Father, especially for the earthly fatherless, is powerful and redemptive. Redemptive to the same degree you accept Him as Abba, and lay down your pain, anger, disappointment, and mistrust.

Greg Laurie has some great thoughts on this today; you may be blessed to read this.

Tags: Christianity, Father's Day, fatherless, God, redemption

Magnum Opus: Happy Mother’s Day

Posted May 10th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting
17 Comments »

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, all you moms, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, god-mothers, and lovers of little ones!!

My husband captured this sweet moment with my littlest a few weeks ago. For Mother’s Day, I’d like to repost a tiny piece I wrote over a year ago, and in fact it was only the second post on this blog. Since I had about one reader at the time, you probably didn’t notice this:

“Are you awake, Charlotte?” he said softly.
“Yes,” came the answer.
“What is that nifty little thing? Did you make it?”
“I did indeed,” replied Charlotte in a weak voice.
“Is it a plaything?”
“Plaything? I should say not. It is my egg sac, my magnum opus.”
“I don’t know what a magnum opus is,” said Wilbur.
“That’s Latin,” explained Charlotte. “It means ‘great work.’ This egg sac is my great work — the finest thing I have ever made.”
“What’s inside it?” asked Wilbur. “Eggs?”
“Five hundred and fourteen of them,” she replied.
from Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White.


These are some of the greatest lines of literature I’ve read on the subject of motherhood and parenting. Now, I just have four, not 514, but those four are absolutely the finest things I have ever made. I couldn’t state my calling any better than Charlotte, and her words are more inspiring than any parenting book I’ve read.

Technorati Tags: Mother’s Day, Charlotte’s Web, magnum opus, motherhood

Breakfast al fresco

Posted May 7th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting
11 Comments »

It’s that time of year; I’ll have syrup and sunshine on my pancakes, please.

Wordless Wednesday.

Technorati Tags: breakfast al fresco, outdoors, children

How can I possibly have a child old enough to ride a motorcycle?

Posted April 24th, 2008 by Jen in blog stuff, family life, parenting, the ranch
7 Comments »

When did his scooter sprout a motor? When did those endearing “vroom-vroom” noises of my baby begin to emit from a big, scary machine and not his pouty little lips? As every parent knows, and as every older parent loves to tell the younger parents, they grow up so fast.

Here is Big L, in all his nearly-nine-year-old glory, with his first motorcycle. I guess this is what comes after the “big boy bike.” First they shed the training wheels, then they shed the pedals. He was enjoying a ride around the trails Dad made at the property, his reward for spending a few hours helping clean up the drywall debris.

He’s big enough for real work now, and when Dad called me to drop Big L off at the property to help him, it was not out of an affectionate desire for his company (although that’s a nice benefit), but because he truly needed a hand. I feel like I’m in a sort of time warp, watching my boy become a man before my very eyes. Vroom-vroom!

Technorati Tags: parenting, motorcycles, children, growing up, family life

When Your 6-year-old Makes You Cry

Posted April 17th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting
17 Comments »

She tried to hide the card under my pillow last night, but Dad shooed her off to bed, not knowing her mission. This morning she was grumpy-sad because her big brother had taken the card from its safe-keeping under her own pillow and placed it in what he thought was a safer location. But all she knew was that it was gone.

What the child went through to get a special card for her mom. She bought it with her own money, all the money she had, having no occasion but love, taking great pains to make it a surprise, and made me cry.

I mostly cried because the card read, in pretty Hallmark lettering, “You’re Never Too Busy to Be a Wonderful Mom.” And even more precious was her own lettering inside, “Best Mom.” But I am too busy. I get short-tempered and forget to speak gently. I don’t deserve such a showering of affection. I was tenderly aware that I cannot take advantage of a child’s unconditional love for a parent. Yes, she would love me, and does love me, despite my many failings.

There is such hope in the knowledge that love covers a multitude of sins, and my little girl so encouraged me to live up to her childlike love, and to possess that kind of love myself. I am the luckiest mom around to have a 6-year-old make me cry.

Tags: children's card, family, hallmark card, love, mothering, parenting

Gardening With Children

Posted April 6th, 2008 by Jen in arts & crafts, book reviews, education, family life, features, giveaways, parenting
37 Comments »

We’ve been spending some time in the dirt getting the soil ready to start a garden. And no surprise, children are drawn to dirt like nothing else! You mean you want me to dig holes? I’m allowed to get filthy and mucky? To direct that childish energy and wonder into a productive endeavor like a garden is not only smart on the part of the parent, it’s a lifelong gift to both of you.

This picture here is my little JoJo who spent several hours last week with her pint-sized rake and shovel. I was working on the main garden area, while she staked out a small spot of her own. The other children were doing likewise. I hesitated a moment when suddenly all the children wanted their own garden space in addition to the main garden. Was this okay? Would I be teaching them to be selfish and looking out only for themselves? I ended up deciding that the sense of community and family in the main garden would not at all be diminished by each child’s ownership in their own scratch of earth. In fact, it would probably deepen their respect for the family garden, knowing the responsibility and effort their own gardens require.

I found a wonderful book to guide me through some activities to do in the garden with children. It’s called Roots, Shoots, Buckets & Boots: gardening together with children, by Sharon Lovejoy. The book covers not only the basics of how to plan, plant, and care for your garden, but the top 20 plants for kids, theme garden ideas, and many little bits of garden wisdom. (I’m giving away a copy - leave me a comment on this post to enter.)

Here in Central Oregon, we’re still in the planning stages. We’re working with virgin land that’s never been planted and we have our own obstacles to maneuver. We have a lot of land to work with and can experiment with several ideas, but the ground itself has some limitations. Giant boulders being one. A very short growing season being another.

I would say that my first tip for gardening with children is to involve them in every decision. Where should we put the garden? Is this spot too shady or too sunny? This area is nice and level, but we’ll have to dig up some rocks, is that okay? What shape do we want the garden to be? What should we plant that will thrive in our region? Let’s test the soil and decide what supplements we may need. All of the issues that arise in the planning of the garden are incredible teaching tools, and there’s no better way for your kids to really understand the complexity - and joy - of it all than to walk through it with you step by step. And the sense of ownership will be there from the start - the greatest motivator I know. I never have to twist their arms to go work on the garden.

Let’s jump right in to the top 20 plants for children to grow. This list comes from Roots, Shoots, Buckets & Boots, based on the fact they are proven winners:

They have personality, fragrance, texture, and color — vibrant color. They grow quickly — something kids need in response to their work. And they’re versatile; they can be used as jewelry, toys, clothes, musical instruments, and household utensils.

1. Pumpkins
2. Sunflowers
3. Gourds
4. Corn
5. Berries
6. Hollyhocks
7. Carrots
8. Mimosa
9. Poppies
10. Tomatoes
11. Trees
12. Alliums
13. Potatoes
14. Woolly Lamb’s Ear
15. Four-O’Clocks
16. Evening Primroses
17. Radishes
18. Nasturtium
19. Moon Plant
20. Lemon Verbena

Do keep in mind your climate - some of these will fare better than others depending on where you live. In Central Oregon, for example, root crops like potatoes and carrots grow well with our short growing season and cool nights; but for some vegetables like corn or tomatoes, a short-season variety is a must for your plant to mature.

Theme gardens can be a joy for children, and I’ll highlight just one of the themes from Roots, Shoots, Buckets & Boots: the pizza patch.

The Pizza Patch: gardening in the round is sure to delight children who are used to seeing a straight-row vegetable garden. This pizza patch garden is a giant sized six-foot-wide wheel shaped plot, divided into seven great wedges and edged with a thick rock crust. Ms. Lovejoy suggests the following ingredients for your pizza patch garden, but you can add other favorites as well:

3 seedlings plum tomatoes
6 seedlings cherry tomatoes
3 seedlings small eggplants
3 seedlings bell peppers
1 seedling zucchini
1 seedling rosemary
3 seedlings oregano
3 seedlings basil
3 seedlings onions
3 seedlings garlic
6 seedlings “Lemon Gem” marigolds
6 seedlings “Kablouna” Calendulas
Aged, bagged manure

To begin this project, select a flat 10×10 foot plot of ground that gets at least 6 hours of sun a day. Place a stake in the center of the area, and tie a 3-foot string to it. Your child can take hold of the very end of the string and walk in a circle, while another child walks behind with a hoe to mark what will be the outer boundary of the garden bed.

Divide the garden into slices: mark spots at 32 inch intervals along the outer edge. Draw a line with a stick from each of the seven marks to the center stake, to denote the seven slices. Then place rocks along those lines for a permanent boundary, and you can remove the center stake.

Place the five tall vegetables in each of the five slices on the northern side of the wheel - the plum tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, eggplants, bell peppers, and zucchini. In a slice on the south side, plant the herbs, onions, and garlic. Set aside one slice to be the pathway for the little feet tending the garden. The bright gold marigolds and Calendulas can be filled in around the vegetables and herbs, the “cheese” of the pizza.

To plant each slice, start from the center and work your way out. Plant tomatoes, eggplants, bell peppers, and zucchini 12-18 inches apart. In the small herb slice, space them 6 inches apart from the onions and garlic. The flowers are scattered throughout each slice, but allow 3 inches between them and other plants.

When harvest time comes, you can throw a big pizza party with toppings straight from the garden!

You can find more fabulous garden ideas and activities to do with children, such as a sunflower house, container gardens, and a moon garden, in Roots, Shoots, Buckets & Boots. Would you like to win a free copy? Leave me a comment and let me know you’d like this book! I’ll draw a random winner next week.

Technorati Tags: Central Oregon, children, dirt, garden, gardening with children, giveaway, homesteading, outdoor play, Roots, Shoots, Buckets & Boots, pizza patch garden

Tags: children's garden tools, gardening, gardening with kids, plants

Five Year Old’s Solution to Hell

Posted April 4th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion
22 Comments »

Aloha, it’s Friday! My fun question for you today is this:

Has your child - or do you remember your own from childhood - ever come up with any funny conceptions of God, Heaven, or Hell?

Here is my answer, from a very amusing incident last week:

Now that JoJo has turned 5, she is very smart. Perhaps she will go straight from kindergarten to seminary, for, you see, she has solved the problem of hell. We listened to Matthew ch. 5 today, and afterward I asked the kids what they thought. JoJo said it was a little bit scary - the part about someone’s whole body being cast into hell (v. 30). The fires, the eternal burning - even theologians have a difficult time understanding this concept. Is this real? Is hell a metaphor? But no matter, like I said, JoJo is very smart, and she had a solution:

Can’t they just stop, drop, and roll?

Do you have a great “out of the mouths of babes” moment? I’d love to hear it, leave me a comment! (You can visit An Island Life for more Aloha Friday participants.)

Technorati Tags: children, Christianity, faith, God, hell, heaven

Field of Dreams

Posted March 24th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting
4 Comments »

“Is this heaven?”

“No. Oregon Iowa.”

If you’ve ever seen the movie Field of Dreams, you’ll recognize that dialogue between John Kinsella and his son Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner). And, of course, it was Iowa. But here’s the Oregon version, a few days ago, in our front field - Dad and the two older kids.

“We’re keeping this field.” Ray Kinsella.

Technorati Tags: baseball, children, Field of Dreams, Kevin Costner

A Fast from Asking

Posted March 17th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion
5 Comments »

I told my kids that we are going on a two day fast from asking for things. I saw over at Heather’s that her family was fasting from complaining, and I knew I needed to steal her idea.

I am worn down to raw nerves from everlasting requests for a glass of water, more apples, a new spoon because mine fell on the floor, my clothes because I’m too lazy to go upstairs and get them myself, a certain book, a new train, a bike, a bunny, a horse. Times four.

We’ve somehow gotten into a very bad habit of asking for things, often without even thinking or without having a great need. Just because. I know it could be much worse. The kids don’t watch TV (just videos) and so are spared the incessant barrage of commercials. They don’t attend a regular school so they have a reprieve from coveting the latest styles and gadgets of their classmates. However, because we humans are selfish by nature, we still have to battle the Stuff Monster.

So, I gathered the children and explained that we would spend the next two days REFRAINING from ASKING for anything, save for the bare necessities of life. Like, I need some toilet paper in the bathroom. I explained to the kids that it’s become a bad habit, that it’s wearing me out, and that it goes against God’s words about not being gluttonous, greedy, materialistic, selfish, and covetous.

They all listened attentively. My six year old daughter had just one question: What will we get if we do this?

AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!

Technorati Tags: children, Christianity, fasting, greed, materialism

Disturbing images to stop the whining?

Posted January 22nd, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion
7 Comments »

Am I just a twisted mother to do such a thing? My son had been whiiinnnning all morning about doing his math. With no apologies, I told him he simply must learn how to do subtraction with renaming. It’s an arithmetic skill that’s a necessity in life. He continued with the mournful complaints mixed in with tears. I talked to him about being thankful - what we all resort to at some point, right? Look, we have a warm house, clothes to wear, food to eat, a wonderful family….and the privilege of learning math. So suck it up. My rational words didn’t even make a dent in the laments.

So, I took my strategy to the next level. I did a Google search for “pictures of starving children.” Oh, yes I did. I made him look. First, he just cried all the harder at the disturbing images. You do the search and see what comes up. But at least these tears were justified. Children in Sudan, naked, bones protruding, crawling in the sand to find bugs to eat. “Mom, I’m going to have nightmares!” I panicked. Had I gone too far? However, he grew quiet, the tears subsided, and he soon carried on with the borrowing and subtracting.

I certainly don’t want to make light of the situation in Africa and elsewhere, and just because I used it to my advantage to shock my boy into being thankful, I hope that doesn’t make me a shameless and unscrupulous mother. Does it?

I would be shameless and unscrupulous if I brought out pictures of starving children every time my kid whined, and only when my kid whined. But if the approach is to bring world calamities and injustices to the forefront of our comfortable lives on a regular basis, regardless of the children’s current temperament, and for the purpose of compassion and consciousness, then I really think it’s okay. And if you need a boost in the math department every once in a while…

I Really Like Homeschooling, I Just Want Someone Else to Do It For Me

Posted January 14th, 2008 by Jen in education, family life, parenting, religion, the office
10 Comments »

There are days, there are seasons to be sure, when a homeschooling parent has a tough spell. After spending a week investigating a local fine arts charter school, a private Christian school, and homeschool co-op options, I’m back to where I started. At home.

My many conflicting commitments have sent me into a tailspin. With pressing financial obligations that require me to leave Homeschool Fantasy Land, I’ve seriously looked at my options. How can I homeschool and run a business? When I can’t afford outside tutors, how do I teach my kids in the disciplines in which I’m not equipped, like music, but which are very important to me? Can’t someone else do this for me?

I did what I have to do in cases of extreme distress: I called Catherine. I look upon her as my Homeschool Mentor-Mom Mentor-Wife Mentor, and she’s always the one to help me readjust my perspective.

She gave me a real talkin’ to this time. She’s not one to say, “Oh, honey, you poor thing, I feel for you.” It’s more like, “Are you even thankful for what you have? You are where you are, now work with it.” I complained about not being able to afford private music lessons, and how, unlike her, I don’t have 10 years of music training in the French conservatories. “You can listen to CDs of classical music, can’t you?” I grumbled about having to work at our family business. “Do you know how many people would die to have a family business? To have that opportunity to teach their kids a life skill at their side?”

I groused about feeling inadequate. “Jennifer, I would say that about some people, but never you. You’re intelligent, educated, and love the Lord.” However, she maintained that all my education and degrees may actually hinder me, as I’m tempted to reproduce an educational institution in my home. Her main point, as she talked, and I humbly listened, was that God has our family where He has our family. She is adamant about just living life with your children, and learning as you go. Her style is much more un-schooling than mine, and her children are so bright and lovely and competent. “You just need to ask the Lord, how do I accomplish this? will You please provide what I need?” she asserted.

Nothing has changed about my situation. I still have to find a way to spend several hours a day working on the business; I still have to buckle down and really stretch myself on the music education; I still don’t have anybody to pass my kids off to; I still don’t have any more money than I did a week ago. However, I’ve regained a little bit of the mind of Christ, which was lost over the past month of holiday insanity. The mind of Christ seems to be telling me to chill out.

Chill out and educate my children one day at a time. “Why do you homeschool?” Catherine had pointedly asked me. Oh, yeah. It affords us the opportunity to bring up our kids as children of God. It empowers our family to grow together in ways that we can direct. It enables me to take advantage of those daily moments where training happens, moments I can even set up in advance to teach my children life lessons on character and friendship. And homeschooling, perhaps most importantly, ensures that my children are not trapped in an artificial construct, but are learning to live a real life in the real world. Okay, I’ll do it.

A Peanut Butter Tale

Posted January 11th, 2008 by Jen in family life, health/cooking/food, parenting
8 Comments »

“Can I have anuvver peanut butter san’wich, Mom?”

I look and see the half-eaten sandwich on his plate, the fourth one today. “But,” I protest, “you haven’t eaten all of that one!” His wide sky-blue eyes, full of a three-year-old’s innocence, plead with me. “I don’t want the cwust.”

When he wakes up in the morning, he asks for a peanut butter sandwich. Mid-way through morning, he asks for another. I take the kids to Papa’s Pizza for lunch, where I have to meet with a group of moms while the kids play, and he doesn’t eat his pizza. “I’m full,” he declares. But minutes after leaving, he cries, “I’m hungry! I want a peanut butter san’wich!”

This latest dinner sandwich emptied my peanut butter jar. For weeks now, I’ve been giving in to the no-crust-peanut-butter-san’wich-monster. It’s become a bad habit. He and I are both lucky that he is child number four, and I’ve been down this slippery road before. Else I would be insane, and he would have peanut butter poisoning.

But it’s all over now. I shall not buy another jar of peanut butter until I deem it is safe. Until he stops begging for the sticky, gooey, fattening spread morning, noon, and night. Until he submissively eats what is set before him with no thought of sinking his teeth into delicious peanut butter encased by two slices of peanut butter holders. Those great big eyes and “You’re my best friend” song will not tempt me at all, and if they do, there will simply be no peanut butter in the house.

“It’s all gone, honey,” I call out.

Thursday Thirteen: In My Purse

Posted January 10th, 2008 by Jen in carnivals, family life, parenting
13 Comments »

Can you tell a lot about a girl by what’s in her purse? I don’t know, but here are thirteen things currently in my purse. I’ll pull them out in random order, and let’s see what will be revealed about Diary of 1!

1. Two Girl Scout patches: From JJ’s Girl Scout meeting two days ago, which Mom needs to iron on the little scout’s vest.

2. One Clifford diaper: Oh my, the three year old still in a diaper? The horror!

3. One Starbucks gift card: Courtesy of e-Mom - Thanks, I’ll be using this soon, neverminding the leftist policies of the leftist company in the leftist city. Lifting the boycott for a good cuppa joe.

4. One black leather wallet: Bulging with receipts, I’m terrible about keeping up on wallet organization.

5. Three Deschutes Public Library Cards: One is mine, and two are the older children’s. Child number three (age 4) can finally write her name, the only requirement for getting a library card around here, so this week, I’ll add another card to the pile. Yes, this was the first thing she mentioned upon successfully writing her name.

6. One enormous black hair clip: One of those Jaws type clips, much too large for my amount of hair, and it’s forever falling out, so why do I keep it? Emergencies only. Like the wind ruined my hairdo and so up it goes.

7. One black sharpie pen: In my purse because it was confiscated from the four-year-old, who was caught with it in the van, attempting to write her name on a napkin.

8. One check from Dr. Schulze: Can you say “preying upon the elderly?” This is a check for my mom that I have to deposit in her bank for her. A $2.00 refund from one negligent snake-oil salesman who promises old people they will never get cancer, never have bowel problems, and never die.

9. One pair of fingernail clippers: With four children always in tow, chances are high that one of those 40 little fingernails will develop a crack or grow too long.

10. One spray bottle of mace: With a keyring attached, this is usually connected to my keys. However, when I was last at the airport, I wisely removed it to avoid jail time. I haven’t put it back on yet, but hey, thanks for the reminder, Thursday Thirteen. You never know when a thug or vicious animal will wander by.

11. One business card for a dog trainer: I have two sessions left, not that it’s going to make a difference. At one of her visits, she knowingly commented, “Do you love your dog? Because if you don’t, training won’t be very helpful.”

12. One penny: Talk about a cashless society. I literally have only one penny in my entire purse.

13. One Coupon for Nature’s Cure Yeast Infection: Umm, I have children who think it’s fun to grab coupons from those little electronic coupon dispensers at the grocery store. Last visit, one particular child, who reads very well, produced this coupon he had snatched, and at the checkout stand, said loud enough for everyone in line to hear, “Mom, what is Nature’s Cure Yeast Infection?” Giggles ensued around me, as I grabbed the coupon and stuffed it in my purse.

******

So, what’s in your purse?

Carnival update:

The Carnival of Insanities: don’t be put off or confused by the title - this is a very funny, witty, satirical site that will have you laughing…if you’re of the conservative, liberty-minded persuasion.

The Christian Carnival: now showing at Parableman. Up next right here at Diary of 1! My theme will be The Renaissance - but don’t worry, any post will fit in, after all, I have a few centuries to work with, and there’s nothing new under the sun. Here are submission instructions, but it’s easiest to submit your post HERE - by next Tuesday, Jan. 15, at 11:50 p.m. ET.

Winter Fun

Posted December 29th, 2007 by Jen in family life, holidays, parenting, poetry
10 Comments »

My husband and I took our kids and a few of the cousins ice skating on Christmas Eve. We survived with only a few bumps and bruises, remarkable considering that between just the two of us, we managed seven children under the age of 10 on the ice.

I must admit that my husband was not overjoyed when I suggested ice skating! I only bring this up because I want to encourage you to push past the common hindrance to enjoying winter sports: BBRRRR!!! He actually was so happy in the end that we went ice skating, mostly because the kids had beaming faces and have talked about it for days. As you can see from the pictures, this was an indoor ice rink, and really not that cold. Just bundle up and do it!

A quick note on ice skating safety. One of the skate guards noticed my four year old daughter, pictured above with me, and commented on how she was gaining courage and wanting to go faster, even though this was her first time ice skating. A Canadian, he said, “You Americans have a lot to learn! In Canada, the little children have to wear helmets on the ice.” He recommended putting a regular bike helmet on the littler ones at least. Think about it, a hard fall on the ice is no more forgiving than a hard fall on concrete.

There is a winter wonderland across much of the country and so much fun to be had! One of my sisters in Michigan just took her family on a skiing vacation to Boyne Mountain and, living in Oregon, I worked hard to resist the temptation to poke fun at Michigan’s mountains. They all had a fantastic time even without supersized mountains. Now, if you do happen to be in Oregon and want to ski, be sure to visit my friends at Berg’s Ski Shop for all your gear, and go experience some real altitude.

And don’t forget about snowshoeing, sledding, and snowboarding. Or just building a snowman! My kids’ personal favorite is a good old fashioned snowball fight. I am definitely in the winter mood, and if I don’t get myself and the kids out despite the weather, we all get cabin fever. My rule of thumb is that if it’s above freezing, (32 degrees Fahrenheit), out we go. An investment in high quality gloves, hats, coats, and boots is well worth it, especially if it means the whole family can play outside in winter weather for at least an hour at a time.

I know many of you are either stuck inside because it’s truly treacherous outside, or at the other extreme, you live in a location where it simply doesn’t get wintery. I found a great website, Apples4theteacher.com, with a slew of winter games and activities for kids that can be done indoors and still give your kids some winter fun. You’ll find winter crafts, stories, puzzles, coloring pages, and more.

If your family has a favorite winter past-time, would you share it with me? I’ll leave you with a wintery poem by that classic Scottish writer, Robert Louis Stevenson.

Winter Time
by Robert Louis Stevenson
from A Child’s Garden of Verses

Late lies the wintery sun a-bed,
A frosty, fiery sleepy-head;
Blinks but an hour or two; and then,
A blood-red orange, sets again.

Before the stars have left the skies,
At morning in the dark I rise;
And shivering in my nakedness,
By the cold candle, bathe and dress.

Close by the jolly fire I sit
To warm my frozen bones a bit;
Or with a reindeer-sled, explore
The colder countries round the door.

When to go out, my nurse doth wrap
Me in my comforter and cap;
The cold wind burns my face and blows
Its frosty pepper up my nose.

Black are my steps on silver sod;
Thick blows my frosty breath abroad;
And tree and house, and hill and lake,
Are frosted like a wedding-cake.

Cooking With Kids: Tips and Tricks

Posted November 20th, 2007 by Jen in family life, health/cooking/food, parenting
10 Comments »

“Mommy, can I help you?” is the phrase most often heard in my kitchen. Moms around the world know that a kid in the kitchen means the meal will take about three times the usual prep!

Well, at least that’s how it happens in my house with three and four year olds - and even the six and eight year olds.

It’s a great temptation to lock kids out of the kitchen, and there are pressing times when I have to say, “No, Mommy has to do this herself,” but I try to have a general rule that the children can always help. However, to maintain a level of sanity, I’ve come up with some tips and tricks which I’ll list below, for making the cooking time with kids an enjoyable and educational experience.

I’ve read several stories of great chefs who always point back to their childhood cooking with their mothers or grandmothers as a meaningful element in their later careers. I’ve also read accounts of women who know little about cooking because their mothers didn’t allow them in the kitchen.

There is a wonderful book called The Language of Baklava by Diana Abu-Jaber that convinced me I needed to make a significant place in my time with the kids for food - from the picking out of the ingredients at the market, to the preparation of the meal, to the enjoyment of the taste. Abu-Jaber “comes from cooking,” and notes that how you cook and eat, and how you feed your neighbors defines who you are.

I’ve been remiss in keeping to that commitment, but especially as the holidays are welcomed, I want to renew that vision. Here’s my list to keep me on track with cooking with kids:

1. Plan ahead for the extra time required for the children to be helping.

2. Assign turns if you have multiple children, or chaos will ensue unless you’re WonderCook. With my four children, I allow up to two at a time helping, and the kids take turns. I’ve had meltdowns involving four chubby little hands all trying to stir the same batter.

3. Pick a few recipes for the children to work on consistently so they have it memorized. My children help make pancakes or muffins several mornings a week and know the recipes by heart and have such a joy in preparing something they know so well.

4. Teach as you go. “JoJo, show me which one is the tablespoon and which one is the teaspoon,” I say to my four year old, and she quickly picks the right one. Or I say, “JJ, what does the baking powder do for the recipe?”

5. Allow licking! My kids enjoy the licking of the spoons and bowl nearly as much (or more!) as eating.

6. Ask your older children to prepare simple meals for the family, and maybe come up with a schedule, like every Wednesday, your eight year old son makes lunch for the other children. I have a cookbook called Kids in the Kitchen with great recipes youngsters can make themselves.

7. Encourage creativity. If your six year old daughter does what mine did, and creates a concoction including milk, raisins, cinnamon, coconut, pepper, and cracker crumbs, at least oblige her by tasting her creation.

8. Safety first! Any parts of the cooking projects that involve sharp knives or burning hot ovens, Mom takes over. I am right by my children’s side as we prepare foods because they are all still very young.

Happy cooking with kids, and enjoy the upcoming holiday feasts!

All in a Day’s Mothering

Posted November 12th, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting
6 Comments »

As the saying goes, out of the mouths of babes…here’s some bits of conversation heard around here today.

JoJo: Mommy, JJ called me a Blabber Face!

JJ: No, Blabber Mouth!

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Upon doing his business on the toilet, in the tradition of finding shapes in the clouds, the three year old:

Little L: Look, Mommy, a pirate ship!

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JoJo: Mommy, Little L called me a Pookie Bear!

Little L: Jo, I was jus’ pertendin’.

You need to know that even though “Pookie Bear” sounds like a term of endearment, Little L gets in trouble for these words. See, it’s the worst name he can come up with when he’s angry. We figured this out recently upon hearing the outburst “I hate you, Pookie Bear!” when he was most angry with his brother or sisters. Not sure where his three year old brain came up with Pookie Bear, but, when I give it the equivalent of the worst name I could think of, you can see that he deserves punishment!

Reminds me of a story my mother-in-law told me about my husband. When he was a little guy, he got in a heap of trouble for calling her a “Pinecone Head!” Yes, that’s the worst he could come up with!

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Little L: I love you Mommy. You my best friend.

Aww, I love waking up to that. This makes up for all his tough talk.

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You Know Your Mother Has Alzheimer’s When

Posted November 2nd, 2007 by Jen in family life, health/cooking/food, parenting
13 Comments »

She takes the dirty clothes you’ve just loaded into the washing machine, and left momentarily, but long enough for her to come along, and transfers them to the dryer, never minding that they are bone dry and thus could not have been run through the wash cycle.

And before you can catch her, because you are busy with other work and four little children, she proceeds to then remove these same dirty clothes from the dryer, fold them, and put them away, never minding that they have bits of food stuck to them and the crusty socks still have retained their owner’s shape.

This calamity causes the daughter whose nearly 80 year old mother lives with her to race from drawer to drawer, feeling for clothes that are still warm and smelling for nasty socks, to pull out and begin the proper wash process once again. The chaos caused by all this commotion causes the elderly mother to break down in tears and retreat to her room.

Repeat above scenario with the dishwasher, and I believe your mother has Alzheimer’s.

You can find me over here getting help.

Project Generation Connections

Posted October 22nd, 2007 by Jen in education, family life, parenting
9 Comments »

Do you sense a disconnect between generations? This report is one of many which shows a detachment of today’s young people to their heritage and history. Many factors could be at work, including the breakdown of families, loss of respect for (including neglect and abuse of) elders, an ultra-mobile society in which children, parents, and grandparents rarely live in the same town anymore, and even technology heightens the disconnect.

In my family, I try to repair this disconnect by giving my kids ample opportunities to understand the lives of their elders. Since my (nearly 79 year old) mother has lived with us for eight years now, my children are accustomed to having a senior in their everyday life.

If that’s not the case for you, try to make it a priority to include grandparents or other seniors in your daily life. I’m sure there is a neighbor, a friend’s grandmother, or your own parent or grandparent in close enough proximity to make this a reality.

My current project is a series of interviews with my mom to try to capture a bit of life in her generation. I came across a great article entitled Family History is American History which makes a positive case for this kind of documenting:

Family history is a way to preserve American history. Tapping the memories of seniors will give the young alternative ways to think about the events, issues and challenges presented in public schools.

Here is one of our recent interviews, where my six year old daughter, J, helped me conduct the interview:

J: Did you like being in the Army?

Grandma: Yes. It was just lots of fun. It was interesting. I like marching and singing songs while we marched. I liked the outdoor exercises we went through. Crawling through the woods on our stomachs to practice for a gas attack - we wore real gas masks.

J: How come you don’t like water?

Grandma: Because I’m afraid of getting drowned. Once, I was wading in the water along Lake Huron, and all of a sudden I stepped off a shelf and I sank and I couldn’t get up. I didn’t know how to swim, but someone came and pulled me out.

J: Did you play music in the army?

Grandma: Yes, I had my accordian with me. Sometimes the girls and I would sit out in front of the barracks - there was a porch across the front of the barracks - and another girl would play her guitar, Emily Lackanaria was her name.

J: Did you like playing the accordian?

Grandma: Yes, I loved playing the accordian! I just loved music.

J: How old were you in the Army?

Grandma: I think I was 27 and I enlisted for 2 years.

J: Why did you leave the Army?

Grandma: I just decided I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in the Army. I don’t know.

Grandma: What I remember about when the Second World War was going on…my Dad was in charge of two blocks for ….Air Raid Warden, that’s what he was. He had to go around and be sure everyone had their blackout curtains up - no lights showing.

J: How come?

Grandma: So any enemy airplanes flying over wouldn’t see the houses. Because we lived across the river (the St. Clair River) from a huge oil refinery which may have been a target for German planes. And my Dad worked for Mueller Brass - I guess anything that produced things for the war effort would be an enemy target.

Well, you get the idea. I like including my children in the interview process, because they will be more involved, absorb more of her life as she speaks to what they want to know about, and she will be communicating directly to them. When I teach my kids about World War II, they will already have this framework to layer the information upon - a very real, tangible fabric that brings to life dry facts of history.

Here’s a fun generation-connecting lesson to be learned from the American Crow:

It maintains a territory year-round in which all members of its extended family live and forage together.

In most, but not all, populations the young stay with their parents and help them raise young in subsequent years. Families may include up to 15 individuals and contain young from five different years.

Some roosts have been forming in the same general area for well over 100 years.

Generational connections can bring health to our extended family life, increase our knowledge of family history, and surely promote knowledge of our national history. Are your children terrified of “old people”? My kids certainly have that tendency, because our society is prone to segregating our senior citizens. I have to be purposeful about fostering these generational connections, even with Grandma living with us. Tell me if you have any ideas for a Project Generation Connections!

Too Many Choices?

Posted October 1st, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting
9 Comments »

Can too many choices paralyze the modern parent? And her children? Decide for yourself - here’s an interesting article at The Parenting Post.

Author Barry Schwartz, in his book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, addresses this question as well. Publisher’s Weekly makes this comment about Schwartz’s book:

We normally assume in America that more options (”easy fit” or “relaxed fit”?) will make us happier, but Schwartz shows the opposite is true, arguing that having all these choices actually goes so far as to erode our psychological well-being.

Hmmm. Now, as a parent, I have to deal with the million-and-one choices somehow, because they aren’t really going away. The choices are in my face. Do I want regular or fat-free? Do I want organic, natural, or conventional? Do I want public or private? Do I use the Charlotte Mason, Classical, Principled, or Waldorf method of homeschooling? Granite, silestone, travertine, or ceramic tile? Music class, ballet, gymnastics, or soccer (or all four)? Here’s what Schwartz would advise:

If parents can develop the attitude that good enough really is good enough most of the time, it will help them to be much better than good enough at what matters most — being engaged, energetic, attentive and loving in their interactions with their children. It will also enable them to model for their kids a healthy approach to navigating the sea of choices that they will soon be responsible for making for themselves.

For my children, I can help them by limiting the choices I offer. (”Kids, you can choose from these three books for Mommy to read to you tonight,” instead of, “Pick out a book from that shelf of 100 books.”) I shouldn’t put the pressure on them to have to navigate the nerve-wracking array of choices unfettered. It’s incredibly stressful. My kids very often ask me to choose something for them, or to narrow the choices I give, when they are sensing a difficulty or confusion. Allow your kids the option of not having to choose, sometimes. This is not robbing them of any independence, it’s simply allowing them to remain psychologically healthy!

The tension between making choices on our kids’ behalf and empowering them to do their own choosing is fundamental to parenting. However, living in a choice-centered culture makes that tension far more pervasive. By all apparent measures, the culture of choice is here to stay. In order to help kids reap its benefits, parents must also be aware of its costs.

Just like we choose our battles with our children, we can choose when to choose. Not every situation which arises during the day should require a multitude of choices. As a parent, learn to quickly whittle down the options to just a few, and your children will be learning healthy decision making as they observe you.

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Some carnivals to visit - only three to choose from :-)

The Carnival of Family Life
The Christian Carnival
The Carnival of Homeschooling

Father’s Day Tribute

Posted June 16th, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting
11 Comments »

Why we love Dad.

He is very smart and he’s building a house for us.
He is very nice for taking us special places and doing special things with us.
He plays games with us and teaches us about life.
He sings with us.
He got us a puppy.
He teaches us about science and about God.
He teaches us to ride our bikes.

Here is “Cowboy Dad” with our boy plugging his ears because the well drilling is soooo loud.

Our kids fight over time with Dad, and usually the ones left at home with Mom are in tears! When your turn for alone time with Dad comes only once every 4 turns, it seems forever. Whether it’s going out to breakfast with Dad, helping him for the day at the property, or just running errands around town, it’s always a treat.

I love this father of my children for so many reasons. He loves me without fail, we share a passionate love of God and His Word, he has that creative artist temperament which means he’s ever-so interesting, he’s nearly always the first to say he’s sorry, and he’s smart enough to read all the Oregon code books on construction so he can build a house himself even though he’s never done this before.

Our girls are his princesses and our boys are his handsome little men. I do not want Father’s Day to pass without him knowing that I deeply respect him as a father, even though, like most people, he sees his shortcomings and wants to do more, be more. All of our children have such a healthy sense of who they are because of his presence. And they have a fantastic sense of humor, because he can be a clown and downright goofy. Good thing, because I’m such a bore. :-)

This is a great photo to add to our Father’s Day Tribute, because it captures a beautiful moment. My husband is definitely the game-player of the family with the kids, and evenings are often spent with chess, checkers, Candyland, whatever. Not to sound Leave it to Beaver-ish, because we are not, but this past year of being TV-less has allowed for a lot of evenings to be freed up for this sort of thing.

What you see there is a Will Primos Elk Hunting video in the background (Dad has taught all the kids how to do an elk call) and a chess game in the foreground. I think elk hunting is right up there on my husband’s list of favorite things to do, and he does a good job of including the kids, even though they can’t hunt with him yet. They actually love these videos!

Just give the man some shrimp and red wine and he’s quite happy. See, he’s taught his daughter to be totally goofy, too. Good, a picture including Connect Four. With the young ages of my children, this game gets a lot of table time. Thanks, Dad, you gave this to the kids for Christmas, along with most of the games we own. Good memories.

I remember almost four years ago when my husband had a grand mal seizure, quite unexpectedly. I was there, and never having seen one before, thought he’d had a heart attack and died. He appeared to be unconscious, lifeless, blue-ish…Your life really does flash before your eyes when something like this happens. I thought of raising my children without their father. I was in total shock. He told me later that having me at his bedside in the hospital, completely focused on him, absorbed in him, and holding him with such tenderness, was so meaningful, and he felt so loved.

I was a bit taken aback, because I thought I always did those things, I thought he knew how I felt. But don’t we all need to hear, out loud and unmistakably, that we are much loved and irreplaceable. So, dear husband and father of our children, on this day which honors you, I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE AN OUTSTANDING FATHER.

Letters as Colors?

Posted June 11th, 2007 by Jen in education, family life, parenting
5 Comments »

I just made an astonishing discovery. My seven year old son sees letters as colors. As we sat at the table finishing lunch just in this past hour, my daughter said, “Amy is a special name.” “Why is that,” I queried. “It starts with the letter A,” she replied, “which is the first letter of the alphabet.”

“And A is red.” This announcement from my son would have gone completely unnoticed by me, except for a very bizarre coincidence. Just about 20 minutes earlier, I had visited my cyber friend Dana, and clicked through to a link from commenter Julie. I glanced at a recent post by Julie, The Color of Thoughts, wherein is mentioned by commenter Bobbie that there exists a human gene that causes words to actually be a color.

We all know that kids say crazy things, and with the never ceasing chatter over here, I honestly would have paid no heed to, and likely would not have even consciously heard, my son’s color comment. So, sincere thanks, Dana, Julie, and Bobbie, for that string of discussion I trailed.

I began interrogating my son. What do you mean when you say the letter A is red? Are whole words colors? Are other objects associated with colors? Are numbers colors?

He informed me that he just sees the color in his mind, and that only letters have colors, not words. I began working through the alphabet with him. He sees A as red, B as yellow, C as blue, D as brown, E as yellow… Call me a cynic, but I wrote down the color associations he gave for each letter, and went back and quizzed him over and over to see if he came up with the same responses. You bet. A is red, B is yellow, C is blue.

We all should know what I did next. Google. There is a name for this phenomenon, and it’s called synesthesia - a neurological condition in which two or more senses are coupled. My son appears to have grapheme-color synesthesia, where an individual’s perception of numbers and letters are associated with the experience of colors. Guess what else wikipedia said? A is likely to be red. While no two synesthetes will report the same color associations, there are some commonalities.

Hey, my son is in good company. Nobel Prize winning physicist Richard Feynman was among those with synesthesia. Wow, I’m just beginning to look into this (obviously!), so if anyone out there has some information or advice for me, I’d love to hear from you.

What about Mom?

Posted March 21st, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting
8 Comments »

A big misconception I hear about homeschooling is,”What about your time for yourself?” People seem to think that I require all this time alone, or time to shop, or time to visit with friends, or get my nails done, whatever. So, supposedly, homeschooling infringes on your time to yourself, and thus you will suffer from an overburdened life.

Well, first of all, nearly all the people I know who don’t homeschool and don’t have school-age children at home, are working outside the home. So, the kids are gone to school all day, Mom and Dad are both gone to work all day, and come home to the most hectic scene you can imagine. Racing to get kids to afterschool activities, racing to get dinner on the table, racing to help with homework, and on and on. It’s exhausting just thinking about it! So where’s all that extra “time to yourself” that you’re supposed to get when you don’t homeschool?

Also, I LOVE being with my kids all day! They shop with me, visit friends with me, and usually come along on whatever errand needs to be done. They are learning how “real life” works, and are around people of all ages, instead of being isolated in a classroom all day, which stunts their emotional growth.

Of course, Mom does need time to do her own thing, I won’t deny that. I do have the luxury of having a husband who is self-employed and flexible. I also have other homeschool-Mom friends I can swap “afternoons out” with. And after the kids are in bed, I have plenty of time to be with my husband, read, relax, (do dishes!). People needing time to themselves is NOT a problem unique to homeschooling moms!

I do admit I require less “time to myself” than most. I brought my children into the world to enjoy them, train them myself (with my husband), and be with them! Not to put them in school 8 hours a day and let someone else shape them. I don’t tire of teaching them new things, laughing at their silliness, or even changing diapers.

Isaiah 41:31 is a great verse to lean on: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” True, there are days I’m feeling exhausted, and that’s when I get to trust the Lord to renew my strength - just like any other person, homeschooling or not.

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Saving up for the tooth fairy

Posted March 8th, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting
1 Comment »

I don’t know where he got the idea, but as of this morning, my seven year old son now has three teeth saved up for the tooth fairy, in hopes of getting a bigger prize. I am quite clueless on the tooth fairy thing, because I didn’t grow up with this particular fairy. I do think she must be a deranged little sprite for collecting teeth, some bloodied, some rotten, some stained. What does she do with them, my son wants to know. My daughter heard that she builds her castle with the pearly whites.

At any rate, what’s the rate? I mean, what’s the tooth fairy paying these days, I *must* know. Is there a limit on the number of teeth she can carry at once? Three, four, five? I guess she must have a bank somewhere to get all the money she leaves the expectant, gap-filled little children.

This is all too bizarre for me.
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Magnum Opus

Posted February 13th, 2007 by Jen in parenting
2 Comments »

“Are you awake, Charlotte?” he said softly.

“Yes,” came the answer.

“What is that nifty little thing? Did you make it?”

“I did indeed,” replied Charlotte in a weak voice.

“Is it a plaything?”

“Plaything? I should say not. It is my egg sac, my magnum opus.”

“I don’t know what a magnum opus is,” said Wilbur.

“That’s Latin,” explained Charlotte. “It means ‘great work.’ This egg sac is my great work — the finest thing I have ever made.”

“What’s inside it?” asked Wilbur. “Eggs?”

“Five hundred and fourteen of them,” she replied.

from Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White.
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These are some of the greatest lines of literature I’ve read! Now, I just have four, not 514, but those four are absolutely the finest things I have ever made. I couldn’t state my calling any better than Charlotte, and her words are more inspiring than any parenting book I’ve read.