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RSSArchive for the ‘parenting’ CategoryIt’s all in the glasses.Posted June 24th, 2008 by Jen in family life, humor, parenting13 Comments » “Your students would really like you, Mom.” My almost 9-year-old son was speaking in a serious voice, knowingly pointing to his head. I was a classroom teacher before I had all these kids, and I was talking to my young ones about teaching. I smiled, completely warmed by his sweetness. “You know,” he continued, “they would think you are really intelligent.” More warming, and even little pitter-patters in my heart. What a kind-hearted, encouraging boy, he thinks Mom is smart! “You really think so?” I say, hoping for more of these lovely compliments. Having been his teacher for the past few years, it’s good to know that he values my brilliance, my astute nature, my… “Of course, Mom!” he states matter-of-factly. “It’s the glasses. They make you really smart.” Oh. The glasses. That’s what he so knowingly pointed to, not my clever brain at all. Ahem. Adjusting my glasses here. So, would you like to know where I purchased my super-powered glasses? Because I’m sure you all want a pair now. Revisiting Father’s DayPosted June 15th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion8 Comments » I was commenting today over at Tipper’s blog, Blind Pig & the Acorn, on her Father’s Day post, and I’m reposting my comment right here, because it’s a good follow up to my previous post. Tipper blogs about her Appalachian heritage, a favorite subject of mine (with my own Appalachian father from the hills of West Virginia), and I’m seeking to reclaim some of those roots. Tipper’s post asked for three random facts about your dad.
p.s. Julie has a blog tag about an “a-ha!” moment you’ve had this week, so this will count as mine! Go check it out and see if you can come up with something, and if you’re reading this and would like to play along, consider yourself “tagged.” And if you also have some things to share about your dad, visit Tipper. Technorati Tags: family life, Father’s Day, Appalachia, fatherless, childhood memories, God, relationships For the Fatherless on Father’s DayPosted by Jen in family life, parenting, religion8 Comments » I am fatherless. On Father’s Day, I celebrate my husband as father of our children. But I’m still reminded that I am fatherless. You say God is my father. I’ve heard many, many sermons about how even if you don’t have an earthly father, God is your heavenly father, and that makes everything right -but I’m still understanding and accepting this concept. It’s an amazing truth, though, and taking hold of God as Abba Father, especially for the earthly fatherless, is powerful and redemptive. Redemptive to the same degree you accept Him as Abba, and lay down your pain, anger, disappointment, and mistrust. Greg Laurie has some great thoughts on this today; you may be blessed to read this. Magnum Opus: Happy Mother’s DayPosted May 10th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting17 Comments » HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, all you moms, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, god-mothers, and lovers of little ones!! My husband captured this sweet moment with my littlest a few weeks ago. For Mother’s Day, I’d like to repost a tiny piece I wrote over a year ago, and in fact it was only the second post on this blog. Since I had about one reader at the time, you probably didn’t notice this:
These are some of the greatest lines of literature I’ve read on the subject of motherhood and parenting. Now, I just have four, not 514, but those four are absolutely the finest things I have ever made. I couldn’t state my calling any better than Charlotte, and her words are more inspiring than any parenting book I’ve read. Technorati Tags: Mother’s Day, Charlotte’s Web, magnum opus, motherhood Breakfast al frescoPosted May 7th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting11 Comments »
It’s that time of year; I’ll have syrup and sunshine on my pancakes, please. Technorati Tags: breakfast al fresco, outdoors, children How can I possibly have a child old enough to ride a motorcycle?Posted April 24th, 2008 by Jen in blog stuff, family life, parenting, the ranch7 Comments »
Here is Big L, in all his nearly-nine-year-old glory, with his first motorcycle. I guess this is what comes after the “big boy bike.” First they shed the training wheels, then they shed the pedals. He was enjoying a ride around the trails Dad made at the property, his reward for spending a few hours helping clean up the drywall debris. He’s big enough for real work now, and when Dad called me to drop Big L off at the property to help him, it was not out of an affectionate desire for his company (although that’s a nice benefit), but because he truly needed a hand. I feel like I’m in a sort of time warp, watching my boy become a man before my very eyes. Vroom-vroom!
Technorati Tags: parenting, motorcycles, children, growing up, family life When Your 6-year-old Makes You CryPosted April 17th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting17 Comments » She tried to hide the card under my pillow last night, but Dad shooed her off to bed, not knowing her mission. This morning she was grumpy-sad because her big brother had taken the card from its safe-keeping under her own pillow and placed it in what he thought was a safer location. But all she knew was that it was gone. What the child went through to get a special card for her mom. She bought it with her own money, all the money she had, having no occasion but love, taking great pains to make it a surprise, and made me cry. I mostly cried because the card read, in pretty Hallmark lettering, “You’re Never Too Busy to Be a Wonderful Mom.” And even more precious was her own lettering inside, “Best Mom.” But I am too busy. I get short-tempered and forget to speak gently. I don’t deserve such a showering of affection. I was tenderly aware that I cannot take advantage of a child’s unconditional love for a parent. Yes, she would love me, and does love me, despite my many failings. There is such hope in the knowledge that love covers a multitude of sins, and my little girl so encouraged me to live up to her childlike love, and to possess that kind of love myself. I am the luckiest mom around to have a 6-year-old make me cry. Five Year Old’s Solution to HellPosted April 4th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion22 Comments » Aloha, it’s Friday! My fun question for you today is this:
Here is my answer, from a very amusing incident last week: Now that JoJo has turned 5, she is very smart. Perhaps she will go straight from kindergarten to seminary, for, you see, she has solved the problem of hell. We listened to Matthew ch. 5 today, and afterward I asked the kids what they thought. JoJo said it was a little bit scary - the part about someone’s whole body being cast into hell (v. 30). The fires, the eternal burning - even theologians have a difficult time understanding this concept. Is this real? Is hell a metaphor? But no matter, like I said, JoJo is very smart, and she had a solution:
Do you have a great “out of the mouths of babes” moment? I’d love to hear it, leave me a comment! (You can visit An Island Life for more Aloha Friday participants.) Technorati Tags: children, Christianity, faith, God, hell, heaven Field of DreamsPosted March 24th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting4 Comments » “Is this heaven?” “No. Oregon Iowa.” If you’ve ever seen the movie Field of Dreams, you’ll recognize that dialogue between John Kinsella and his son Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner). And, of course, it was Iowa. But here’s the Oregon version, a few days ago, in our front field - Dad and the two older kids.
“We’re keeping this field.” Ray Kinsella.
Technorati Tags: baseball, children, Field of Dreams, Kevin Costner A Fast from AskingPosted March 17th, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion5 Comments »
I am worn down to raw nerves from everlasting requests for a glass of water, more apples, a new spoon because mine fell on the floor, my clothes because I’m too lazy to go upstairs and get them myself, a certain book, a new train, a bike, a bunny, a horse. Times four. We’ve somehow gotten into a very bad habit of asking for things, often without even thinking or without having a great need. Just because. I know it could be much worse. The kids don’t watch TV (just videos) and so are spared the incessant barrage of commercials. They don’t attend a regular school so they have a reprieve from coveting the latest styles and gadgets of their classmates. However, because we humans are selfish by nature, we still have to battle the Stuff Monster. So, I gathered the children and explained that we would spend the next two days REFRAINING from ASKING for anything, save for the bare necessities of life. Like, I need some toilet paper in the bathroom. I explained to the kids that it’s become a bad habit, that it’s wearing me out, and that it goes against God’s words about not being gluttonous, greedy, materialistic, selfish, and covetous. They all listened attentively. My six year old daughter had just one question: What will we get if we do this? AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHH!
Technorati Tags: children, Christianity, fasting, greed, materialism Disturbing images to stop the whining?Posted January 22nd, 2008 by Jen in family life, parenting, religion7 Comments » Am I just a twisted mother to do such a thing? My son had been whiiinnnning all morning about doing his math. With no apologies, I told him he simply must learn how to do subtraction with renaming. It’s an arithmetic skill that’s a necessity in life. He continued with the mournful complaints mixed in with tears. I talked to him about being thankful - what we all resort to at some point, right? Look, we have a warm house, clothes to wear, food to eat, a wonderful family….and the privilege of learning math. So suck it up. My rational words didn’t even make a dent in the laments. So, I took my strategy to the next level. I did a Google search for “pictures of starving children.” Oh, yes I did. I made him look. First, he just cried all the harder at the disturbing images. You do the search and see what comes up. But at least these tears were justified. Children in Sudan, naked, bones protruding, crawling in the sand to find bugs to eat. “Mom, I’m going to have nightmares!” I panicked. Had I gone too far? However, he grew quiet, the tears subsided, and he soon carried on with the borrowing and subtracting. I certainly don’t want to make light of the situation in Africa and elsewhere, and just because I used it to my advantage to shock my boy into being thankful, I hope that doesn’t make me a shameless and unscrupulous mother. Does it? I would be shameless and unscrupulous if I brought out pictures of starving children every time my kid whined, and only when my kid whined. But if the approach is to bring world calamities and injustices to the forefront of our comfortable lives on a regular basis, regardless of the children’s current temperament, and for the purpose of compassion and consciousness, then I really think it’s okay. And if you need a boost in the math department every once in a while… I Really Like Homeschooling, I Just Want Someone Else to Do It For MePosted January 14th, 2008 by Jen in education, family life, parenting, religion, the office9 Comments » There are days, there are seasons to be sure, when a homeschooling parent has a tough spell. After spending a week investigating a local fine arts charter school, a private Christian school, and homeschool co-op options, I’m back to where I started. At home. My many conflicting commitments have sent me into a tailspin. With pressing financial obligations that require me to leave Homeschool Fantasy Land, I’ve seriously looked at my options. How can I homeschool and run a business? When I can’t afford outside tutors, how do I teach my kids in the disciplines in which I’m not equipped, like music, but which are very important to me? Can’t someone else do this for me? I did what I have to do in cases of extreme distress: I called Catherine. I look upon her as my Homeschool Mentor-Mom Mentor-Wife Mentor, and she’s always the one to help me readjust my perspective. She gave me a real talkin’ to this time. She’s not one to say, “Oh, honey, you poor thing, I feel for you.” It’s more like, “Are you even thankful for what you have? You are where you are, now work with it.” I complained about not being able to afford private music lessons, and how, unlike her, I don’t have 10 years of music training in the French conservatories. “You can listen to CDs of classical music, can’t you?” I grumbled about having to work at our family business. “Do you know how many people would die to have a family business? To have that opportunity to teach their kids a life skill at their side?” I groused about feeling inadequate. “Jennifer, I would say that about some people, but never you. You’re intelligent, educated, and love the Lord.” However, she maintained that all my education and degrees may actually hinder me, as I’m tempted to reproduce an educational institution in my home. Her main point, as she talked, and I humbly listened, was that God has our family where He has our family. She is adamant about just living life with your children, and learning as you go. Her style is much more un-schooling than mine, and her children are so bright and lovely and competent. “You just need to ask the Lord, how do I accomplish this? will You please provide what I need?” she asserted. Nothing has changed about my situation. I still have to find a way to spend several hours a day working on the business; I still have to buckle down and really stretch myself on the music education; I still don’t have anybody to pass my kids off to; I still don’t have any more money than I did a week ago. However, I’ve regained a little bit of the mind of Christ, which was lost over the past month of holiday insanity. The mind of Christ seems to be telling me to chill out. Chill out and educate my children one day at a time. “Why do you homeschool?” Catherine had pointedly asked me. Oh, yeah. It affords us the opportunity to bring up our kids as children of God. It empowers our family to grow together in ways that we can direct. It enables me to take advantage of those daily moments where training happens, moments I can even set up in advance to teach my children life lessons on character and friendship. And homeschooling, perhaps most importantly, ensures that my children are not trapped in an artificial construct, but are learning to live a real life in the real world. Okay, I’ll do it. A Peanut Butter TalePosted January 11th, 2008 by Jen in family life, health/cooking/food, parenting8 Comments » “Can I have anuvver peanut butter san’wich, Mom?” I look and see the half-eaten sandwich on his plate, the fourth one today. “But,” I protest, “you haven’t eaten all of that one!” His wide sky-blue eyes, full of a three-year-old’s innocence, plead with me. “I don’t want the cwust.” When he wakes up in the morning, he asks for a peanut butter sandwich. Mid-way through morning, he asks for another. I take the kids to Papa’s Pizza for lunch, where I have to meet with a group of moms while the kids play, and he doesn’t eat his pizza. “I’m full,” he declares. But minutes after leaving, he cries, “I’m hungry! I want a peanut butter san’wich!” This latest dinner sandwich emptied my peanut butter jar. For weeks now, I’ve been giving in to the no-crust-peanut-butter-san’wich-monster. It’s become a bad habit. He and I are both lucky that he is child number four, and I’ve been down this slippery road before. Else I would be insane, and he would have peanut butter poisoning. But it’s all over now. I shall not buy another jar of peanut butter until I deem it is safe. Until he stops begging for the sticky, gooey, fattening spread morning, noon, and night. Until he submissively eats what is set before him with no thought of sinking his teeth into delicious peanut butter encased by two slices of peanut butter holders. Those great big eyes and “You’re my best friend” song will not tempt me at all, and if they do, there will simply be no peanut butter in the house. “It’s all gone, honey,” I call out. Thursday Thirteen: In My PursePosted January 10th, 2008 by Jen in carnivals, family life, parenting13 Comments »
Can you tell a lot about a girl by what’s in her purse? I don’t know, but here are thirteen things currently in my purse. I’ll pull them out in random order, and let’s see what will be revealed about Diary of 1! 1. Two Girl Scout patches: From JJ’s Girl Scout meeting two days ago, which Mom needs to iron on the little scout’s vest. 2. One Clifford diaper: Oh my, the three year old still in a diaper? The horror! 3. One Starbucks gift card: Courtesy of e-Mom - Thanks, I’ll be using this soon, neverminding the leftist policies of the leftist company in the leftist city. Lifting the boycott for a good cuppa joe. 4. One black leather wallet: Bulging with receipts, I’m terrible about keeping up on wallet organization. 5. Three Deschutes Public Library Cards: One is mine, and two are the older children’s. Child number three (age 4) can finally write her name, the only requirement for getting a library card around here, so this week, I’ll add another card to the pile. Yes, this was the first thing she mentioned upon successfully writing her name. 6. One enormous black hair clip: One of those Jaws type clips, much too large for my amount of hair, and it’s forever falling out, so why do I keep it? Emergencies only. Like the wind ruined my hairdo and so up it goes. 7. One black sharpie pen: In my purse because it was confiscated from the four-year-old, who was caught with it in the van, attempting to write her name on a napkin. 8. One check from Dr. Schulze: Can you say “preying upon the elderly?” This is a check for my mom that I have to deposit in her bank for her. A $2.00 refund from one negligent snake-oil salesman who promises old people they will never get cancer, never have bowel problems, and never die. 9. One pair of fingernail clippers: With four children always in tow, chances are high that one of those 40 little fingernails will develop a crack or grow too long. 10. One spray bottle of mace: With a keyring attached, this is usually connected to my keys. However, when I was last at the airport, I wisely removed it to avoid jail time. I haven’t put it back on yet, but hey, thanks for the reminder, Thursday Thirteen. You never know when a thug or vicious animal will wander by. 11. One business card for a dog trainer: I have two sessions left, not that it’s going to make a difference. At one of her visits, she knowingly commented, “Do you love your dog? Because if you don’t, training won’t be very helpful.” 12. One penny: Talk about a cashless society. I literally have only one penny in my entire purse. 13. One Coupon for Nature’s Cure Yeast Infection: Umm, I have children who think it’s fun to grab coupons from those little electronic coupon dispensers at the grocery store. Last visit, one particular child, who reads very well, produced this coupon he had snatched, and at the checkout stand, said loud enough for everyone in line to hear, “Mom, what is Nature’s Cure Yeast Infection?” Giggles ensued around me, as I grabbed the coupon and stuffed it in my purse. ****** So, what’s in your purse? Carnival update: The Carnival of Insanities: don’t be put off or confused by the title - this is a very funny, witty, satirical site that will have you laughing…if you’re of the conservative, liberty-minded persuasion. The Christian Carnival: now showing at Parableman. Up next right here at Diary of 1! My theme will be The Renaissance - but don’t worry, any post will fit in, after all, I have a few centuries to work with, and there’s nothing new under the sun. Here are submission instructions, but it’s easiest to submit your post HERE - by next Tuesday, Jan. 15, at 11:50 p.m. ET. Winter FunPosted December 29th, 2007 by Jen in family life, holidays, parenting, poetry10 Comments »
My husband and I took our kids and a few of the cousins ice skating on Christmas Eve. We survived with only a few bumps and bruises, remarkable considering that between just the two of us, we managed seven children under the age of 10 on the ice. I must admit that my husband was not overjoyed when I suggested ice skating! I only bring this up because I want to encourage you to push past the common hindrance to enjoying winter sports: BBRRRR!!! He actually was so happy in the end that we went ice skating, mostly because the kids had beaming faces and have talked about it for days. As you can see from the pictures, this was an indoor ice rink, and really not that cold. Just bundle up and do it! A quick note on ice skating safety. One of the skate guards noticed my four year old daughter, pictured above with me, and commented on how she was gaining courage and wanting to go faster, even though this was her first time ice skating. A Canadian, he said, “You Americans have a lot to learn! In Canada, the little children have to wear helmets on the ice.” He recommended putting a regular bike helmet on the littler ones at least. Think about it, a hard fall on the ice is no more forgiving than a hard fall on concrete. There is a winter wonderland across much of the country and so much fun to be had! One of my sisters in Michigan just took her family on a skiing vacation to Boyne Mountain and, living in Oregon, I worked hard to resist the temptation to poke fun at Michigan’s mountains. They all had a fantastic time even without supersized mountains. Now, if you do happen to be in Oregon and want to ski, be sure to visit my friends at Berg’s Ski Shop for all your gear, and go experience some real altitude. And don’t forget about snowshoeing, sledding, and snowboarding. Or just building a snowman! My kids’ personal favorite is a good old fashioned snowball fight. I am definitely in the winter mood, and if I don’t get myself and the kids out despite the weather, we all get cabin fever. My rule of thumb is that if it’s above freezing, (32 degrees Fahrenheit), out we go. An investment in high quality gloves, hats, coats, and boots is well worth it, especially if it means the whole family can play outside in winter weather for at least an hour at a time. I know many of you are either stuck inside because it’s truly treacherous outside, or at the other extreme, you live in a location where it simply doesn’t get wintery. I found a great website, Apples4theteacher.com, with a slew of winter games and activities for kids that can be done indoors and still give your kids some winter fun. You’ll find winter crafts, stories, puzzles, coloring pages, and more. If your family has a favorite winter past-time, would you share it with me? I’ll leave you with a wintery poem by that classic Scottish writer, Robert Louis Stevenson.
Cooking With Kids: Tips and TricksPosted November 20th, 2007 by Jen in family life, health/cooking/food, parenting10 Comments »
Well, at least that’s how it happens in my house with three and four year olds - and even the six and eight year olds. It’s a great temptation to lock kids out of the kitchen, and there are pressing times when I have to say, “No, Mommy has to do this herself,” but I try to have a general rule that the children can always help. However, to maintain a level of sanity, I’ve come up with some tips and tricks which I’ll list below, for making the cooking time with kids an enjoyable and educational experience. I’ve read several stories of great chefs who always point back to their childhood cooking with their mothers or grandmothers as a meaningful element in their later careers. I’ve also read accounts of women who know little about cooking because their mothers didn’t allow them in the kitchen. There is a wonderful book called The Language of Baklava by Diana Abu-Jaber that convinced me I needed to make a significant place in my time with the kids for food - from the picking out of the ingredients at the market, to the preparation of the meal, to the enjoyment of the taste. Abu-Jaber “comes from cooking,” and notes that how you cook and eat, and how you feed your neighbors defines who you are. I’ve been remiss in keeping to that commitment, but especially as the holidays are welcomed, I want to renew that vision. Here’s my list to keep me on track with cooking with kids:
Happy cooking with kids, and enjoy the upcoming holiday feasts! All in a Day’s MotheringPosted November 12th, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting6 Comments » As the saying goes, out of the mouths of babes…here’s some bits of conversation heard around here today. JJ: No, Blabber Mouth! **********************
Little L: Look, Mommy, a pirate ship! **********************
Little L: Jo, I was jus’ pertendin’. You need to know that even though “Pookie Bear” sounds like a term of endearment, Little L gets in trouble for these words. See, it’s the worst name he can come up with when he’s angry. We figured this out recently upon hearing the outburst “I hate you, Pookie Bear!” when he was most angry with his brother or sisters. Not sure where his three year old brain came up with Pookie Bear, but, when I give it the equivalent of the worst name I could think of, you can see that he deserves punishment! Reminds me of a story my mother-in-law told me about my husband. When he was a little guy, he got in a heap of trouble for calling her a “Pinecone Head!” Yes, that’s the worst he could come up with! ********************** Little L: I love you Mommy. You my best friend. Aww, I love waking up to that. This makes up for all his tough talk. ********************** You Know Your Mother Has Alzheimer’s WhenPosted November 2nd, 2007 by Jen in family life, health/cooking/food, parenting12 Comments » She takes the dirty clothes you’ve just loaded into the washing machine, and left momentarily, but long enough for her to come along, and transfers them to the dryer, never minding that they are bone dry and thus could not have been run through the wash cycle. And before you can catch her, because you are busy with other work and four little children, she proceeds to then remove these same dirty clothes from the dryer, fold them, and put them away, never minding that they have bits of food stuck to them and the crusty socks still have retained their owner’s shape. This calamity causes the daughter whose nearly 80 year old mother lives with her to race from drawer to drawer, feeling for clothes that are still warm and smelling for nasty socks, to pull out and begin the proper wash process once again. The chaos caused by all this commotion causes the elderly mother to break down in tears and retreat to her room. Repeat above scenario with the dishwasher, and I believe your mother has Alzheimer’s. You can find me over here getting help. Project Generation ConnectionsPosted October 22nd, 2007 by Jen in education, family life, parenting9 Comments » Do you sense a disconnect between generations? This report is one of many which shows a detachment of today’s young people to their heritage and history. Many factors could be at work, including the breakdown of families, loss of respect for (including neglect and abuse of) elders, an ultra-mobile society in which children, parents, and grandparents rarely live in the same town anymore, and even technology heightens the disconnect.
If that’s not the case for you, try to make it a priority to include grandparents or other seniors in your daily life. I’m sure there is a neighbor, a friend’s grandmother, or your own parent or grandparent in close enough proximity to make this a reality. My current project is a series of interviews with my mom to try to capture a bit of life in her generation. I came across a great article entitled Family History is American History which makes a positive case for this kind of documenting:
Here is one of our recent interviews, where my six year old daughter, J, helped me conduct the interview:
Well, you get the idea. I like including my children in the interview process, because they will be more involved, absorb more of her life as she speaks to what they want to know about, and she will be communicating directly to them. When I teach my kids about World War II, they will already have this framework to layer the information upon - a very real, tangible fabric that brings to life dry facts of history. Here’s a fun generation-connecting lesson to be learned from the American Crow:
Generational connections can bring health to our extended family life, increase our knowledge of family history, and surely promote knowledge of our national history. Are your children terrified of “old people”? My kids certainly have that tendency, because our society is prone to segregating our senior citizens. I have to be purposeful about fostering these generational connections, even with Grandma living with us. Tell me if you have any ideas for a Project Generation Connections! Too Many Choices?Posted October 1st, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting9 Comments » Can too many choices paralyze the modern parent? And her children? Decide for yourself - here’s an interesting article at The Parenting Post. Author Barry Schwartz, in his book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, addresses this question as well. Publisher’s Weekly makes this comment about Schwartz’s book:
Hmmm. Now, as a parent, I have to deal with the million-and-one choices somehow, because they aren’t really going away. The choices are in my face. Do I want regular or fat-free? Do I want organic, natural, or conventional? Do I want public or private? Do I use the Charlotte Mason, Classical, Principled, or Waldorf method of homeschooling? Granite, silestone, travertine, or ceramic tile? Music class, ballet, gymnastics, or soccer (or all four)? Here’s what Schwartz would advise:
For my children, I can help them by limiting the choices I offer. (”Kids, you can choose from these three books for Mommy to read to you tonight,” instead of, “Pick out a book from that shelf of 100 books.”) I shouldn’t put the pressure on them to have to navigate the nerve-wracking array of choices unfettered. It’s incredibly stressful. My kids very often ask me to choose something for them, or to narrow the choices I give, when they are sensing a difficulty or confusion. Allow your kids the option of not having to choose, sometimes. This is not robbing them of any independence, it’s simply allowing them to remain psychologically healthy!
Just like we choose our battles with our children, we can choose when to choose. Not every situation which arises during the day should require a multitude of choices. As a parent, learn to quickly whittle down the options to just a few, and your children will be learning healthy decision making as they observe you. ******** Some carnivals to visit - only three to choose from :-) The Carnival of Family Life Father’s Day TributePosted June 16th, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting11 Comments » Why we love Dad. He is very smart and he’s building a house for us.
Our kids fight over time with Dad, and usually the ones left at home with Mom are in tears! When your turn for alone time with Dad comes only once every 4 turns, it seems forever. Whether it’s going out to breakfast with Dad, helping him for the day at the property, or just running errands around town, it’s always a treat.
Our girls are his princesses and our boys are his handsome little men. I do not want Father’s Day to pass without him knowing that I deeply respect him as a father, even though, like most people, he sees his shortcomings and wants to do more, be more. All of our children have such a healthy sense of who they are because of his presence. And they have a fantastic sense of humor, because he can be a clown and downright goofy. Good thing, because I’m such a bore. :-)
What you see there is a Will Primos Elk Hunting video in the background (Dad has taught all the kids how to do an elk call) and a chess game in the foreground. I think elk hunting is right up there on my husband’s list of favorite things to do, and he does a good job of including the kids, even though they can’t hunt with him yet. They actually love these videos!
I remember almost four years ago when my husband had a grand mal seizure, quite unexpectedly. I was there, and never having seen one before, thought he’d had a heart attack and died. He appeared to be unconscious, lifeless, blue-ish…Your life really does flash before your eyes when something like this happens. I thought of raising my children without their father. I was in total shock. He told me later that having me at his bedside in the hospital, completely focused on him, absorbed in him, and holding him with such tenderness, was so meaningful, and he felt so loved. I was a bit taken aback, because I thought I always did those things, I thought he knew how I felt. But don’t we all need to hear, out loud and unmistakably, that we are much loved and irreplaceable. So, dear husband and father of our children, on this day which honors you, I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE AN OUTSTANDING FATHER.
Letters as Colors?Posted June 11th, 2007 by Jen in education, family life, parenting5 Comments » I just made an astonishing discovery. My seven year old son sees letters as colors. As we sat at the table finishing lunch just in this past hour, my daughter said, “Amy is a special name.” “Why is that,” I queried. “It starts with the letter A,” she replied, “which is the first letter of the alphabet.” “And A is red.” This announcement from my son would have gone completely unnoticed by me, except for a very bizarre coincidence. Just about 20 minutes earlier, I had visited my cyber friend Dana, and clicked through to a link from commenter Julie. I glanced at a recent post by Julie, The Color of Thoughts, wherein is mentioned by commenter Bobbie that there exists a human gene that causes words to actually be a color. We all know that kids say crazy things, and with the never ceasing chatter over here, I honestly would have paid no heed to, and likely would not have even consciously heard, my son’s color comment. So, sincere thanks, Dana, Julie, and Bobbie, for that string of discussion I trailed. I began interrogating my son. What do you mean when you say the letter A is red? Are whole words colors? Are other objects associated with colors? Are numbers colors? We all should know what I did next. Google. There is a name for this phenomenon, and it’s called synesthesia - a neurological condition in which two or more senses are coupled. My son appears to have grapheme-color synesthesia, where an individual’s perception of numbers and letters are associated with the experience of colors. Guess what else wikipedia said? A is likely to be red. While no two synesthetes will report the same color associations, there are some commonalities. Hey, my son is in good company. Nobel Prize winning physicist Richard Feynman was among those with synesthesia. Wow, I’m just beginning to look into this (obviously!), so if anyone out there has some information or advice for me, I’d love to hear from you. What about Mom?Posted March 21st, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting8 Comments »
A big misconception I hear about homeschooling is,”What about your time for yourself?” People seem to think that I require all this time alone, or time to shop, or time to visit with friends, or get my nails done, whatever. So, supposedly, homeschooling infringes on your time to yourself, and thus you will suffer from an overburdened life. Well, first of all, nearly all the people I know who don’t homeschool and don’t have school-age children at home, are working outside the home. So, the kids are gone to school all day, Mom and Dad are both gone to work all day, and come home to the most hectic scene you can imagine. Racing to get kids to afterschool activities, racing to get dinner on the table, racing to help with homework, and on and on. It’s exhausting just thinking about it! So where’s all that extra “time to yourself” that you’re supposed to get when you don’t homeschool? Also, I LOVE being with my kids all day! They shop with me, visit friends with me, and usually come along on whatever errand needs to be done. They are learning how “real life” works, and are around people of all ages, instead of being isolated in a classroom all day, which stunts their emotional growth. Of course, Mom does need time to do her own thing, I won’t deny that. I do have the luxury of having a husband who is self-employed and flexible. I also have other homeschool-Mom friends I can swap “afternoons out” with. And after the kids are in bed, I have plenty of time to be with my husband, read, relax, (do dishes!). People needing time to themselves is NOT a problem unique to homeschooling moms! I do admit I require less “time to myself” than most. I brought my children into the world to enjoy them, train them myself (with my husband), and be with them! Not to put them in school 8 hours a day and let someone else shape them. I don’t tire of teaching them new things, laughing at their silliness, or even changing diapers. Isaiah 41:31 is a great verse to lean on: “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” True, there are days I’m feeling exhausted, and that’s when I get to trust the Lord to renew my strength - just like any other person, homeschooling or not. ****** Saving up for the tooth fairyPosted March 8th, 2007 by Jen in family life, parenting1 Comment » I don’t know where he got the idea, but as of this morning, my seven year old son now has three teeth saved up for the tooth fairy, in hopes of getting a bigger prize. I am quite clueless on the tooth fairy thing, because I didn’t grow up with this particular fairy. I do think she must be a deranged little sprite for collecting teeth, some bloodied, some rotten, some stained. What does she do with them, my son wants to know. My daughter heard that she builds her castle with the pearly whites. At any rate, what’s the rate? I mean, what’s the tooth fairy paying these days, I *must* know. Is there a limit on the number of teeth she can carry at once? Three, four, five? I guess she must have a bank somewhere to get all the money she leaves the expectant, gap-filled little children. This is all too bizarre for me. Magnum OpusPosted February 13th, 2007 by Jen in parenting2 Comments »
“Are you awake, Charlotte?” he said softly. “Yes,” came the answer. “What is that nifty little thing? Did you make it?” “I did indeed,” replied Charlotte in a weak voice. “Is it a plaything?” “Plaything? I should say not. It is my egg sac, my magnum opus.” “I don’t know what a magnum opus is,” said Wilbur. “That’s Latin,” explained Charlotte. “It means ‘great work.’ This egg sac is my great work — the finest thing I have ever made.” “What’s inside it?” asked Wilbur. “Eggs?” “Five hundred and fourteen of them,” she replied. from Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White. These are some of the greatest lines of literature I’ve read! Now, I just have four, not 514, but those four are absolutely the finest things I have ever made. I couldn’t state my calling any better than Charlotte, and her words are more inspiring than any parenting book I’ve read. |
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When did his scooter sprout a motor? When did those endearing “vroom-vroom” noises of my baby begin to emit from a big, scary machine and not his pouty little lips? As every parent knows, and as every older parent loves to tell the younger parents, they grow up so fast.
I told my kids that we are going on a two day fast from asking for things. I saw over at Heather’s that her family was 
“Mommy, can I help you?” is the phrase most often heard in my kitchen. Moms around the world know that a kid in the kitchen means the meal will take about three times the usual prep! 
In my family, I try to repair this disconnect by giving my kids ample opportunities to understand the lives of their elders. Since my (nearly 79 year old) mother has lived with us for eight years now, my children are accustomed to having a senior in their everyday life. 
Here is “Cowboy Dad” with our boy plugging his ears because the well drilling is soooo loud. 
I love this father of my children for so many reasons. He loves me without fail, we share a passionate love of God and His Word, he has that creative artist temperament which means he’s ever-so interesting, he’s nearly always the first to say he’s sorry, and he’s smart enough to read all the Oregon code books on construction so he can build a house himself even though he’s never done this before.
This is a great photo to add to our Father’s Day Tribute, because it captures a beautiful moment. My husband is definitely the game-player of the family with the kids, and evenings are often spent with chess, checkers, Candyland, whatever. Not to sound Leave it to Beaver-ish, because we are not, but this past year of being TV-less has allowed for a lot of evenings to be freed up for this sort of thing.
Just give the man some shrimp and red wine and he’s quite happy. See, he’s taught his daughter to be totally goofy, too. Good, a picture including Connect Four. With the young ages of my children, this game gets a lot of table time. Thanks, Dad, you gave this to the kids for Christmas, along with most of the games we own. Good memories.
