“There is no place more delightful than one’s own fireplace.”
Marcus Tullius Cicero, Ancient Roman Writer and Statesman, 106 BC - 43 BC.

I’m totally delighting in this lovely fire my husband built tonight. The woodbox is full and the house is warm! We are halfway moved into our new house, and hope to have the move completed within a few weeks.

It’s been a long time since I sat in front of a wood fire in my own home. The rented house we’ve been living in for the past two years didn’t have a fireplace; the house we owned for the two years before that had a “fake” natural gas fireplace; our home for the five years prior to that possessed a wood fireplace with a nasty habit of filling the house with smoke every time we dared use it.

Downed juniper trees scatter the property, the victims of our building project. Don’t cry for them, they’re keeping my hearth warm. I love the smell of juniper; we just can’t invite Chuck and Connie over when we’re burning juniper, he’ll turn beet red and break out in hives or something. He’ll have to bring his own pine logs. The rest of you, come in and sit a spell and let us tell you a tale of God’s goodness and merciful provision.

We are not finished, quite. Almost, but not quite. We are trusting God for the working out of some final important pieces, and wouldn’t you know, dear Christian, when that last lap of the marathon is about to kill you, that famous second wind can sustain you, the powerful wind of the comforting, helping Holy Spirit. Someday I’ll get to tell you the story of a little girl who grew up in a dirt-floored shack and now sits before the warm hearth of a mansion, the gift of her Father who loves her. Until then, keep the home fires burning. Blessings.

Don’t Get Mad!

Take Preventive Steps to Avoid Getting Angry(material gathered from Doug Britton, author of Victory Over Grumpiness, Irritation and Anger; permission granted to print for personal use)

Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:20).

There is such a thing as “righteous anger,” but most of our anger is not righteous. In fact, our anger usually is destructive.

My greatest obstacle to overcoming anger is _________________________________________ .

Compare your answer to:

“Not recognizing I am sinning when I am angry.” It is rare that our anger is righteous anger. As James wrote: Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:20).

I won’t have as much trouble getting angry if I am ___________________________________________. 

Compare your answer to:
• Loving. David had every right to be angry with his son Absalom. After all, Absalom wanted to kill David, yet David loved Absalom passionately, and grieved deeply when he learned of his death.
• The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son” (2 Samuel18:33).

• Patient. Look at God’s example in 2 Peter 3:9 and then read Proverbs 15:18.
• The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9).
• A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18).

• Eternally-minded. Look at Paul’s example in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
• Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

• Forbearing. Read Ephesians 4:2 and Colossians 3:13.
• Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2).
• Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Colossians 3:13).

• Understanding of other people. Read about God’s understanding in Hebrews 4:15.
• For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin (Hebrews 4:15).

• Aware of anger’s destructiveness. Read about the results of anger in Psalm 37:8 and Proverbs 15:1.
• Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret–it leads only to evil (Psalm 37:8).
• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

• Secure in who I am in God. Read about Jesus’ silence before Pilate in Matthew 27:12-14. Note that Jesus didn’t “need” to defend himself.
• When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, “Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?” But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor (Matthew 27:12-14).

Personal application

I will pray to become more: ___________________________________________________.

One practical step I will take to make this change is: ________________________________________________________________________________________.

Key Bible verses on anger management: 
    

A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated (Proverbs 14:17).     

Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32).     

It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Proverbs 20:3).     

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11).     

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).     

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26-7).     

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32).     

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (Colossians 3:8).     

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:19-20).

Blessings to you, my friend, as you work toward victory over anger! I’m right there with you, and I’ll share some more later about how this process is going with my students and my family. Remember, HE IS ABLE, and our God has already won for us every victory, and I plan on not turning down my blue ribbon. :-)

I don’t always like “strategies” or “techniques,” and prefer to rely on God’s wisdom and the Holy Spirit’s guidance to help me discern what is best for each individual. However, didn’t God gift this person with insight to help little ol’ me?! Thank you, Patient Parent, for the following:

Below are three primary temperaments of children (remember that children can cross over into more than one, so get to know them all), their characteristics, and how to work with each on patience skills…You can begin to incorporate these ideas around age 3.

1. FEISTY
High Activity Level
Irregular
Slow to Adapt/Transition at times
Approaches New Things with Vigor
Intense, Sometimes Physical Reactions (Positive and Negative)
Low Persistence
Low Focus

Teaching Patience to Feisty Kids:

•Need Opportunity and Challenge
•Leadership Options (”little helpers/little mommies or daddies”
•Faster-Paced Activities & Games
•Work on Cooperative Play (pass the blocks; roll the ball; clean up time)
•Work on Etiquette (please and thank you)
•Burn off the Energy!
•Coping Strategies - breathing, touchstones like a smooth rock or soft toy, anger dance (silly physical dance to calm down), counting, self talk (”He didn’t mean to bump into me.”)

THREE ELEMENTS OF PATIENCE

Empathy –
•Cooperative games (It’s okay to lose.)
•Discussing feelings (After given some space to calm down)
•Problem solving (giving three options and allowing them to choose)
•Work on social cues…facial expressions, body language, hands to self, quiet voice, personal space
•Recognize that they need to burn off energy for focus

Mindfulness
•They’re going to want to argue about what happened and why they are right. Instead…
•Rather than focusing on the past, ask what can be done now to solve it.
•Offer mindful coping for frustrations like breathing, counting, bringing them back into their bodies; touchstones; anger dance (shake it off physically and in a silly way; get them to lighten up)

Self-Leadership
•Getting control of selves will be very important (allow time for that)
•Give space to cool off (so they don’t hurt themselves or anyone else)
•Make lists to build a routine during play to reduce frustration with others (everyone gets to choose an activity to add)
•Helping skills
•Put them in charge of something each day (feeding pets, watering plants, bussing dishes, snack helper)
•Talk about language of a leader, please and thank you, calm voices

2. FEARFUL
Slow to adapt in new situations
Physically sensitive
Withdrawal
Distracted by other children; noise
Crave routine
Intense reactions if stressed or pushed

Teaching Patience to Fearful Kids:

•Need Time and Practice
•Build in Time for Decisions/Transitions
•Be Their Safe Harbor
•Work on Repetitive Activities
•Maintain Daily Routines; Prepare them if things are going to change.
•Provide Coping Strategies/Touchpoints
•Encourage Talking Out Problems

Empathy
•I feel…
•Taking turns, respecting their personal space; practicing affection to gain a comfort level with others (shaking hands, high fives, holding hands to start)
•Respect fears; take them seriously to teach them to trust themselves; talk through fears; explain differences between fantasy and reality; dreams and awake time

Mindfulness
Tend to think of what ifs…help them to focus on now and what’s happening now; are they safe now?

Self-Leadership
•Being in control of their emotional responses
•Self-Talk
•Relaxation exercises to calm anxieties (close eyes and think of a beautiful place or their favorite activity)
•Practice helping others; can take away focus on self
•Work with them on projects if they feel overwhelmed

3. FLEXIBLE
Sunny Disposition
Regular Feeding, Napping
Fairly Persistent
Low Intensity/Low Sensitivity
Highly Adaptable

Teaching Patience to Flexible Kids:

•Need Acknowledgement
•Show Interest in Their Ideas/Play
•Promote Natural Cooperativeness
•Share Your Lap
•Praise Skills Specifically

Empathy
•Naturally empathetic but can lose this if needs aren’t met
•They tend to be popular, so praise them for including others in play
•Watch for times when they hide emotions or use as attention devices; use as opportunity to talk through feelings and acknowledge them; explain why you have disciplined them

Mindfulness
•If they are being silly or acting out, ask how they’re feeling right in that moment…happy, sad, angry, alone, excited?
•Working together; what can we do to make things better right now?
•Give choices to work out feelings

Self-Leadership
•Encourage helpfulness and cooperation…tend to get along well with others; provide opportunities for group play as well as solo play
•Like lots of people, so talk about the importance of including others who may feel left out
•Ask for help in solving problems; they will enjoy being included
•Work with them on projects to give them one-on-one time
•Keep it fun; allow practice before criticizing

I trust this was helpful to some of you! Blessings to you all as you raise your children, in your parenting and your teaching.

Just wanted to share this wall hanging sign my mother-in-law gave me for my birthday last month. I love it.

Do you ever feel this way? After my first hectic week of teaching, I’m needing my children! I’ve been mostly away from them for seven hours a day, and what a joy to come home and be anchored again. I do see them throughout the day for bits here and there, since I teach at the same school they attend. For that I’m grateful.

Many of you have asked me how that first week has been. In many respects, it was wonderful. God has given me a deep love for all my students and I want the best for them. We’re off to a good start and getting into a comfortable routine, and most of the kids are working very diligently. In other ways, it was very difficult, as I’m learning how to handle a few of the very challenging students in my class.

This little saying on the sign, “Children are the anchor that holds a mother to Life” - it’s a sweet way of acknowledging that as a mother, my responsibility in caring for and raising my children, however rigorous it may be at times, actually offers me a lot of security! If I’ve had an exhausting, grueling day in the classroom, and a student says he hates school or maybe has a violent outburst in class, it’s nice to know that I’m still a mother with four lovely little children who adore their mommy and can’t wait for me to be home.

Can you think of some ways that your children keep you anchored to life?

For Today…

Outside my Window…is a pale blue September sky, a hint of chill in the air. The day is warming up after a *freeze* last night!

I am thinking…about God, His plans for our future, how He will provide our needs, how we can be a blessing to others.

From the learning rooms…The two older kids are playing Monopoly, a game continued from yesterday, which was continued from the previous day. The youngest arranges his blocks and works on a puzzle book.

I am thankful for…my amazing husband, my healthy children, our home, the many opportunities before us. Thank you, Jesus.

From the kitchen…dishes that need washing, bread that needs baking.

I am wearing…a long sleeved blue t-shirt, gray exercise pants, socks.

I am reading…The Hoosier School-Master by Edward Eggleston. An old, old book first published in 1871. An amazing piece of American regional writing and a stunning showcase of old Hoosier dialect - this is backwoods Indiana, the story of a young schoolteacher on the Indiana “frontier” before the Civil War. I love old books. The novel begins:

Want to be a schoolmaster, do you? You? Well, what would you do in Flat Crick deestrick, I’d like to know? Why, the boys have driv off the last two, and licked the one afore them like blazes. You might teach a summer school, when nothin’ but children come. But I ‘low it takes a right smart man to be schoolmaster in Flat Crick in the winter. They’d pitch you out of doors, sonny, neck and heels, afore Christmas.

I am hoping…to be ready to face my first day of school tomorrow (shaking in my boots a bit). I’m hoping for lessons to be planned, room organized, lunches packed, kids scrubbed and fresh.

I am creating…grading charts, lesson plans, discipline procedures, and ideas are swirling in my head.

I am hearing…Big L and JJ moving Monopoly pieces, adding numbers, “What do I owe you?” “$20!!”

Around the house…clean laundry to put away, clothes to be sorted. Do the kids even have clothes to wear to school?? One of the greatest setbacks of moving from homeschool to private school is that now we can’t go around in rags all day! We have to actually dress nice every day. My budget is taking a big hit. A huge thank you to Grandma T. who bought each child a few outfits to start us out.

One of my favorite things…is hunting for obsidian chips around the property, and once in a while even finding a near complete arrowhead. I love that my kids all delight in this activity as much as I do, and can spend patient hours in this simple pursuit.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… get all the orders packed up for TeamMASCOT ahead of time; run to Lowe’s with hubby to get some last minute items for the house (electrical cords, bits of pipe, etc.); stop at my school and have the room totally ready; buy lunch boxes and ice packs for the kids; figure out my teaching plan for the adopted Social Studies/History text the school uses, and align it chronologically and with the correct timeline. Thankfully, I have Susan Wise Bauer’s The Story of the World to help me with this.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

Little L at the Crook County Fair.

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