Christian Carnival CCXXXIII: The Hilarious Edition

Posted July 16th, 2008 by Jen in blog stuff, carnivals, humor, religion

We don’t have to look far for bad news these days. I thought we could all use a dose of humor and fun, so welcome to the 233rd Christian Carnival: the Hilarious Edition! This is not to downplay the seriousness of world issues or the personal crises we find ourselves in, but a “joy break” to perhaps recharge your soul.

Today’s blog posts will be salted with Christian humor, and I do pray you come away with a smile on your face. This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!

A little boy was sitting in church next to his mother one evening. In the middle of a song, the mother thought her son was singing the song a little differently. She leaned over and heard him sing, “We bring the sacks of rice and beans.” The song was “We bring the Sacrifice of Praise.”

Keith Williams presents My NLT Odyssey: A Bible translation story posted at NLT Blog.

FMF presents Robert Kiyosaki on Tithing posted at Free Money Finance.

My daughter (now 19) was about 2 years old when we sat down at the dinner table to eat. When asked if she would like to say the blessing, she was excited to pray. With hands folded and heads bowed she began…God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food….. if he hollers, let him go…eeeenie……

Robert Minto presents Living In Heaven Today: A Meeting of Newman and Kline on the Subject of Holiness posted at The Veil Away.

Ali presents A sin with a lasting stain. posted at Kiwi and an Emu..

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Tiffany Partin presents I Want It My Way posted at Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God.

Raffi Shahinian presents Incoherent Ramblings That Might or Might Not Have Something to Say About Jesus and Affirmative Action…You Decide posted at parables of a prodigal world.

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a “show and tell” assignment. Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion. The first student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David.” The second student got up in front of the class and said, “My name is Mary. I’m a Catholic and this is a Rosary.” The third student got in up front of the class and said, “My name is Tommy. I am Methodist, and this is a casserole.”

simplyeddie presents Shadows of Christ~ The Death of Abel posted at Simple Life In Christ.

Erich Bridges presents The stars in their courses posted at CounterCulture.

The young couple invited their elderly preacher for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. “Goat,” the little boy replied. “Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?” “Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Dad say to Mom, ‘Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.’”

Steve Mounts presents A Vision of God’s Power posted at Steve Mounts.

Allen Scott presents Passports posted at A View from the Nest.

Arris Charles presents Anyone Can Balance On Their Head posted at Spirited Ink.

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the drama. Then she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence with……”I think I’d throw up!”

Richard H. Anderson presents Priestly Blessing posted at dokeo kago grapho soi kratistos Theophilos.

Michael presents Encouragement posted at Chasing the Wind.

My son James is four. Whenever he hurts himself we lay hands on the injury and pray for healing. The other day he cut his left finger, took hold of it and prayed: “Jesus come out of my heart, go down my arm and fix my finger. Please Jesus, Amen.” Another time he said grace before our meal. “Dear God, bless our food and don’t let my sister’s head fall off”. His sister was 6 months old at the time; I couldn’t help wondering what James had planned to do with his sister.

Diane R presents Postmodern Philosophy for the Rest of Us–Part 1 posted at Crossroads: Where Faith and Inquiry Meet.

Fr. Joshua Wagner presents Miracle Grow! (Homily for the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year A) posted at Total Possibility.

A Sunday School teacher asked her class, “what was Jesus’ mother’s name?“ A Child answered, “Mary.” The teacher then asked, “and what was her husband’s name?“ Another child answered, “The Verge.” Confused, the teacher asked, “where did you get that?“ The child replied: “You know, they are always talking about “the Verge ‘n Mary.“

Mark Olson presents A Bone To Pick (with my brethren in Christ) posted at Pseudo-Polymath.

e-Mom presents Bible Study: Jesus’ Use of Q & A posted at C h r y s a l i s.

A little child was looking through his grandmother’s Bible and found a crushed flower that was quite wilted. As it fell from the Bible He called to his Mother, “Come quick Mom, I think I found Adam’s suit.”

Drew Tatusko presents Making Pro-Life Plausible posted at Notes From Off Center.

Angela Williams Duea presents Cleaning my spirit house posted at angelawd.

My children began reciting the Lord’s Prayer at 2 1/2 years old and I remember my daughter very seriously praying, “Our father, whose art’s in Heaven, Howard is His name…”

David Porter presents A Boomer in the Pew: “Children of the Living God” – Sinclair Ferguson (Chapter 1c) posted at A Boomer in the Pew.

Ken Brown presents Islam, Christianity and the Freedom to Insult posted at C. Orthodoxy.

Stephen Hawkins presents Did Christ establish two kinds of churches? posted at Waters to Swim In.

A little boy got a new tie for his birthday. Sunday morning, he wore the new tie to church. He was so proud of his tie. He made sure everyone noticed it. Once the congregation settled down, the preacher approached the pulpit in preparation for the offering. The preacher said, “Now is the time we give back to the Lord. Please give your tithes(ties) and offerings to Christ.” The little boy looked at his father and said, “Daddy, he wants my tie!”

William Meisheid presents Knowing God Study Guide Now Complete posted at Beyond The Rim….

Weekend Fisher presents “Miracles violate the law of nature”–or do they? posted at Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength.

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

Jeremy Pierce presents Novel Interpretations and Confidence posted at Parableman.

Elementaryhistoryteacher presents Reverend: False Elevation or Grammatical Error? posted at Got Bible?.

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38!”

(Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, “Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.” “Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an ax and two 38′s!”

John presents How to Be a God-Focused Encourager posted at Light Along the Journey.

Jot and Tittle presents Confessions of a techno geek… posted at Jot and Tittle.

Billy Graham tells of a time, during the early years of his preaching ministry, when he was due to lead a crusade meeting in a town in South Carolina, and he needed to mail a letter. He asked a little boy in the main street how he could get to the post office. After the boy had given him directions, Billy said, “If you come to the central Baptist church tonight, I’ll tell you how to get to heaven.” The boy replied, “No thanks, you don’t even know how to get to the post office!”

ChrisB presents The Bible and Capital Punishment posted at Homeward Bound.

Heath Countryman presents How Big Is Your Satan? posted at Esprit d’escalier.

Our little girl had just attended a baptismal service (by immersion). When she came home she ask her mother to fill the tub so she could baptize her dolls. Her mother listened carefully as she put them in the water…”I baptize you in the mane of the father, the son and in the hole you go!”

Rodney Olsen presents Pushing against the wind posted at RodneyOlsen.net.

Henry Michael Imler presents The Jobian Take on Righteousness posted at Theology for the Masses.

After the Christmas pageant, I asked my 6-year-old son if he remembered the gifts that the Magi brought to Jesus. He thought for a minute then said “gold, frankincense, and humor.” We could all use that!

Thank you for visiting this hilarious edition of the Christian Carnival! Next week it will be hosted by A True Believer’s Weblog. You may submit your blog post here by Tuesday, July 22, Midnight ET.

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