Linnet, ah, perfect holy peace! You and Michael are on the right track - out of holiness comes happiness!

Great post, I agree with your take on self-help books. I’ve not heard of centering prayer that e-mom talks of but it’s put me off this book :) not that I’m really big on marriage books, I’ve read most of The Excellent Wife by Martha Pearce and that had enough information in to digest for a life time ;) I had to give up before my brain exploded (I am a bear of small brain).

Sorry I’m rambling now, I totally agree with your thoughts, I’ll have both and if I can’t have both I’d have to drop happiness because holiness means I’m close to God and if I’m close to God I guess I’m happy :)

~blessings

Mrs. Darling, you gave me a good laugh, I loved your commentary! As far as this statement of yours: A husband still in love with the wife of his youth wouldnt have to be worrying about whether he is happy or holy. YES, I wondered the same thing.

e-Mom, hmmm, I haven’t read anything before this by Gary Thomas - you have me curious about his theology. I know that some have said similar things about Richard Foster, who wrote Celebration of Discipline, among other books. And I don’t think Foster is a New-Ager. I’ll have to let you know what I think of Thomas after further reading.

Andrea, thanks, and good to meet you, too. It sounds like you’ve heard some good reviews of Sacred Marriage.

SmallWorld, not to degrade anyone who loves self-help books, of course… They are just generally not my style. I’m glad you appreciated these thoughts!

Heather, thank you…I just love the word “lovely.” Seriously. It’s a pleasant word that makes me think of…high tea at a lovely palace. :-)

And this, this is just perfect: “And it seems silly to try to put this happiness in juxtaposition with holiness, because the two are working together like two parts of a body, just as the scriptures command.
Happiness or holiness? I’ll take both, please.”

Happiness and holiness seems inextricably linked in my own personal marriage. God has blessed us richly, and I think our happy and holy marriage is a blessing to Him.

Have a fantastic day!

I’m chuckling (in a good way) at the discussion here. I agree with you wholeheartedly! Marriage should have BOTH happiness and holiness.

Like Mrs. Darling, I suspect some Christians spiritualize their unhappy wedded state, instead of doing the necessary relationship work to achieve mutual satisfaction. After reading “Sacred Marriage” I got the distinct impression that perhaps the author (Gary Thomas) had spiritualized his own unhappy marriage.

Thomas’ theology is suspect, as I understand he promotes the practice of “centering prayer,” a New Age practice. But if you or any of your readers are curious about his thoughts on marriage, go read the book. Then tell me what you think.

Thank you for your contribution to Marriage Monday today, Jennifer! Your willingness to do the background research is an asset to this group.

Blessings, e-Mom

I agree that the primary purpose in life is to become like Christ but to marry to become like Christ is a little off beat. Of course, I havent read the book either but I think I disagree with this guy. I dont even want my husband looking at me and thinking, “If God can love her and delight in her then I can too.”

I want my husband to feel complete and fulfilled and happy in our marriage but holy? Hmm. I feel holy when I walk in the woods and view nature or when I walk into the quiet sanctuary or when there is storm or when I gaze at the ocean. I feel God holiness. I cant say Ive ever felt holy looking at my husband. But I do feel happy.

Uh uh the more I think about it the more I dont like it. I hope I dont incure any wrath here from anyone but this sounds like a man who isnt happy with his wife so he has to find a spiritual cloak to throw over the marriage to make his lack of love for her sound better.

Its like he’s saying, “Im sorry honey, you dont make me happy. But there’s no need to worry because Im striving for holiness here, my dear. If God likes you then Im sure I can too, after all Im not necessarily suppose to be happy with you. I am only to strive for holiness.”

A husband still in love with the wife of his youth wouldnt have to be worrying about whether he is happy or holy. I find happiness in my marriage and holiness in my God.

What kind of romantic speech is that?

Blessings♥