Comments on: An Integrated Family in a Segregated World http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/ Seeking Wisdom, Washing Dishes Mon, 15 Mar 2010 07:14:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: Jen http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11558 Jen Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:48:21 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11558 <b>e-Mom</b>, very neat on the same due date. But have your girls ever wished their birthdays were further apart? That could go either way... <b>MooBeeMa</b>, Wow, thanks for the excellent encouragement! e-Mom, very neat on the same due date. But have your girls ever wished their birthdays were further apart? That could go either way…

MooBeeMa, Wow, thanks for the excellent encouragement!

]]> By: MooBeeMa http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11510 MooBeeMa Sat, 08 Mar 2008 21:10:38 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11510 The fringe ROCKS!! Stay on the fringe! It drives everyone else crazy but there's life abundant on the fringe. Delightful post! The fringe ROCKS!! Stay on the fringe! It drives everyone else crazy but there’s life abundant on the fringe.

Delightful post!

]]> By: e-Mom http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11374 e-Mom Fri, 07 Mar 2008 05:49:35 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11374 HA! You are not a freak... just light years ahead of the rest of us. I'm glad it all worked out. :~D (Even though they're 3 years apart, we often thought of our two kids as twins, because they're such good friends, and went many places together. Did I ever tell mention I had the exact same due date for both of them? One came two weeks early, so they're birthdays aren't exact... but nearly.) HA! You are not a freak… just light years ahead of the rest of us. I’m glad it all worked out. :~D

(Even though they’re 3 years apart, we often thought of our two kids as twins, because they’re such good friends, and went many places together. Did I ever tell mention I had the exact same due date for both of them? One came two weeks early, so they’re birthdays aren’t exact… but nearly.)

]]> By: Jen http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11313 Jen Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:27:00 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11313 <b>Jane</b>, I agree, it does get harder as the kids get older. Mine are all under 8, so I don't have a lot of experience with that. Organized sports - I don't have a problem with age/sex segregation there. <b>Heather</b>, thank you for the vote of confidence. :-) I also have the same age-segregation issue with church; it's modeled after school. I like your solution to the children's parties. <b>Mrs. Darling</b>, getting into the teen years brings up so many new issues! I'm not even close to there yet, so I appreciate your wisdom on this. <b>e-Mom</b>, okay, I know I'm a FREAK! Just kidding. You're right, I shouldn't force my whole family on someone. Here's what happened: this mom is a very dear friend who I was comfortable asking if both girls could come. She was completely okay with that, and actually had anticipated that both girls would probably come. The boys would have been too much to throw in the mix for her, though, so I took them over to the ceramic shop where we had projects to finish up. IF this had been a mom I didn't know very well, we would have not gone. JoJo didn't want to go by herself, and with the three other kids, I couldn't stay with her. It all worked out though. <b>Rob</b>, thanks for having sympathy for me trying to explain this! I know I sound like a nut. I like the inclusiveness theme in your family. It's great to see the good things that come out of multi-age activities - the bigger kids helping the younger kids. That's the heart of what I want to see. Jane, I agree, it does get harder as the kids get older. Mine are all under 8, so I don’t have a lot of experience with that. Organized sports - I don’t have a problem with age/sex segregation there.

Heather, thank you for the vote of confidence. :-) I also have the same age-segregation issue with church; it’s modeled after school. I like your solution to the children’s parties.

Mrs. Darling, getting into the teen years brings up so many new issues! I’m not even close to there yet, so I appreciate your wisdom on this.

e-Mom, okay, I know I’m a FREAK! Just kidding. You’re right, I shouldn’t force my whole family on someone. Here’s what happened: this mom is a very dear friend who I was comfortable asking if both girls could come. She was completely okay with that, and actually had anticipated that both girls would probably come. The boys would have been too much to throw in the mix for her, though, so I took them over to the ceramic shop where we had projects to finish up. IF this had been a mom I didn’t know very well, we would have not gone. JoJo didn’t want to go by herself, and with the three other kids, I couldn’t stay with her. It all worked out though.

Rob, thanks for having sympathy for me trying to explain this! I know I sound like a nut. I like the inclusiveness theme in your family. It’s great to see the good things that come out of multi-age activities - the bigger kids helping the younger kids. That’s the heart of what I want to see.

]]> By: Rob at Kintropy http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11269 Rob at Kintropy Thu, 06 Mar 2008 07:57:58 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11269 In the end, all-family parties are more fun. Still I don't envy you explaining this to others. We also tend to ask to include both of our kids even if only one is invited (both a necessity given medical nursing requirements for one & a good opportunity to include everyone - a theme in our life). We haven't had anyone say no yet.... Not to mention that the bigger kids tend to go out of their way to include the younger kids - good models when they do. In the end, all-family parties are more fun. Still I don’t envy you explaining this to others.

We also tend to ask to include both of our kids even if only one is invited (both a necessity given medical nursing requirements for one & a good opportunity to include everyone - a theme in our life). We haven’t had anyone say no yet…. Not to mention that the bigger kids tend to go out of their way to include the younger kids - good models when they do.

]]> By: e-Mom http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11262 e-Mom Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:26:01 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11262 Hmmmm. Not ever having homeschooled, this dilemma is a new one to me. I would guess to some of your non-homeschooling friends just need to be enlightened to your point of view. They might see it your way if they truly understood why you feel the way you do. On the other hand, I can't imagine forcing my whole family on someone, when only one (or two) have been formally invited. I guess the gracious thing to do is to be thankful for the invitation, and then todecline or accept, depending on your convictions. A tough one. Let us know what you decided to do! :~D Hmmmm. Not ever having homeschooled, this dilemma is a new one to me. I would guess to some of your non-homeschooling friends just need to be enlightened to your point of view. They might see it your way if they truly understood why you feel the way you do.

On the other hand, I can’t imagine forcing my whole family on someone, when only one (or two) have been formally invited. I guess the gracious thing to do is to be thankful for the invitation, and then todecline or accept, depending on your convictions.

A tough one. Let us know what you decided to do!

:~D

]]> By: mrs darling http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11258 mrs darling Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:51:58 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11258 When kids are little the parties should really be for all kids. Age is no big deal. But when Tink has parties now I dont really want the boys involved. There's a certain age where I think its appropriate to separate the parties. When kids are little the parties should really be for all kids. Age is no big deal. But when Tink has parties now I dont really want the boys involved. There’s a certain age where I think its appropriate to separate the parties.

]]> By: heather http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11234 heather Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:48:05 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11234 I am absolutely with you on this one. We only have small parties and the whole family of each friend is invited. In fact, we have a small group of fellow homeschoolers we "party" with. Three families totaling 9 kids. The other choice my kids get is a one friend party or a family only party. We don't do segregated classrooms at all--in fact it was one of the many issues we had with traditional church. The kids' friends are of all ages and most live out of state (lots of same age pen/phone pals works well.:)) I am absolutely with you on this one. We only have small parties and the whole family of each friend is invited. In fact, we have a small group of fellow homeschoolers we “party” with. Three families totaling 9 kids. The other choice my kids get is a one friend party or a family only party. We don’t do segregated classrooms at all–in fact it was one of the many issues we had with traditional church. The kids’ friends are of all ages and most live out of state (lots of same age pen/phone pals works well.:))

]]> By: Jane http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11219 Jane Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:43:42 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/03/05/an-integrated-family-in-a-segregated-world/#comment-11219 This is a tough one. To be honest, we usually do the all inclusive parties when the children are younger, but tend to that less as the children get older. We still have a family party, where Gramma, Grampa, Great Gramma, aunts, uncles, and all ages of cousins come though. When our 3rd turned 5 in February, I hosted a party where siblings came as well. I found the hardest ones to please were the older siblings and vowed to not do that again! So there's my two bits. You sound like this is really important to you- do your kids play sports, and how do you handle the age segregation there? This is a tough one. To be honest, we usually do the all inclusive parties when the children are younger, but tend to that less as the children get older. We still have a family party, where Gramma, Grampa, Great Gramma, aunts, uncles, and all ages of cousins come though. When our 3rd turned 5 in February, I hosted a party where siblings came as well. I found the hardest ones to please were the older siblings and vowed to not do that again! So there’s my two bits. You sound like this is really important to you- do your kids play sports, and how do you handle the age segregation there?

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