Comments on: Valentine’s Day: What NOT To Do http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/ Seeking Wisdom, Washing Dishes Sun, 23 Nov 2008 18:04:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: Simone http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9530 Simone Tue, 12 Feb 2008 01:15:01 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9530 Jen---This is by FAR the best Vday list I have come across all day...a truly refreshing read to say the least and a completely invigorating perspective! I just believe that it is so, soo important to have a day where you focus on your loved one and letting them know how much they mean to you. I just so happen to have the inside scoop on a fantastic contest about love and expressing love going on right now that you ladies should definitely take a quick peek at sometime; I work for Dove Chocolates (perfect for this time of year, huh? haha) and we have this contest going on right now called the "Expressions of Love" contest, where we're basically asking ladies like you to submit their most creative ideas for letting someone know you love them...and get this, the winner will receive a 5.58cts "Baby's Breath" diamond necklace worth $21,000!! THAT would definitely be a nice trinket to open on Vday ;) I'd definitely love to have some ladies like you who really do care about Valentine's day enter, so feel free to go to www.mydovechocolate.com and leave your most creative submission! We also have these ridiculously adorable customizable boxes of chocolates available for Vday this year, so if you're trying to think of cute gift ideas, definitely take a look ;) Thank you ladies, hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day, and let me know if you enter! :0) Jen—This is by FAR the best Vday list I have come across all day…a truly refreshing read to say the least and a completely invigorating perspective! I just believe that it is so, soo important to have a day where you focus on your loved one and letting them know how much they mean to you. I just so happen to have the inside scoop on a fantastic contest about love and expressing love going on right now that you ladies should definitely take a quick peek at sometime; I work for Dove Chocolates (perfect for this time of year, huh? haha) and we have this contest going on right now called the “Expressions of Love” contest, where we’re basically asking ladies like you to submit their most creative ideas for letting someone know you love them…and get this, the winner will receive a 5.58cts “Baby’s Breath” diamond necklace worth $21,000!! THAT would definitely be a nice trinket to open on Vday ;) I’d definitely love to have some ladies like you who really do care about Valentine’s day enter, so feel free to go to http://www.mydovechocolate.com and leave your most creative submission!
We also have these ridiculously adorable customizable boxes of chocolates available for Vday this year, so if you’re trying to think of cute gift ideas, definitely take a look ;)
Thank you ladies, hope you all have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, and let me know if you enter! :0)

]]> By: Jen http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9504 Jen Sun, 10 Feb 2008 23:40:02 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9504 <b>Tammy</b>, I'm glad you liked this. I appreciated the comment from both you and <b>e-Mom</b> about giving simple, direct requests - that works well for husbands and pretty much anybody in your life! The high expectations thing - that's just difficult to overcome, and usually perfectionist-type people-pleasers (like me) struggle with this! <b>Dana</b> and <JHS</b>, the "work spouse" seems to be surprising everyone who comments here. You should do a quick Google search and see what you turn up. The fact that it's becoming a term that turns up in work-related surveys is telling. Tammy, I’m glad you liked this. I appreciated the comment from both you and e-Mom about giving simple, direct requests - that works well for husbands and pretty much anybody in your life! The high expectations thing - that’s just difficult to overcome, and usually perfectionist-type people-pleasers (like me) struggle with this!

Dana and , the “work spouse” seems to be surprising everyone who comments here. You should do a quick Google search and see what you turn up. The fact that it’s becoming a term that turns up in work-related surveys is telling.

]]> By: JHS http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9497 JHS Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:01:17 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9497 Good morning: Thanks for contributing this post to this week’s Carnival of Family life, hosted at <a href="http://www.healthplansplus.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Health Plans Plus</a>! "Work spouse" is a new concept. Never heard that one before. Be sure to stop by the Carnival tomorrow and check out the other wonderful entries! JHS <a href="http://www.jhsiess.com" rel="nofollow">Colloquium</a> Good morning:

Thanks for contributing this post to this week’s Carnival of Family life, hosted at Health Plans Plus!

“Work spouse” is a new concept. Never heard that one before.

Be sure to stop by the Carnival tomorrow and check out the other wonderful entries!

JHS
Colloquium

]]> By: Dana http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9425 Dana Thu, 07 Feb 2008 13:24:41 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9425 Work spouse? Yikes. I can see where that might be a Valentine's no-no. : ) Work spouse? Yikes. I can see where that might be a Valentine’s no-no. : )

]]> By: Tammy http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9420 Tammy Thu, 07 Feb 2008 02:23:42 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9420 Hopping over here from Heather's...and in turn, from emom's...and this was such a well-written post with wonderful advice! I have one of those husbands that doesn't respond well to hints either. On the other hand, if I do give him a request in simple terms (such as I posted about and which took place last year) he usually thinks that's great. (Especially when it costs little or no money!) You have great words of wisdom...I have always had a hard time with high expectations all my life, and have only in recent years been getting beyond that. Blessings, ~Tammy Hopping over here from Heather’s…and in turn, from emom’s…and this was such a well-written post with wonderful advice!
I have one of those husbands that doesn’t respond well to hints either. On the other hand, if I do give him a request in simple terms (such as I posted about and which took place last year) he usually thinks that’s great. (Especially when it costs little or no money!)

You have great words of wisdom…I have always had a hard time with high expectations all my life, and have only in recent years been getting beyond that.

Blessings,
~Tammy

]]> By: e-Mom http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9409 e-Mom Wed, 06 Feb 2008 19:51:36 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9409 I "ouch" for you. :~D Or as Bill Clinton would say, "Ah feel yer pain." You're right, "hinting" is not the right word. Direct, unemotional, clear, short requests are really much better--and essential. When a man feels *trusted* he rises to the occasion to deliver the goods. It's the mistrust they (mistakenly) hear in "hinting" that defeats them. Praying for you! I “ouch” for you. :~D Or as Bill Clinton would say, “Ah feel yer pain.”

You’re right, “hinting” is not the right word. Direct, unemotional, clear, short requests are really much better–and essential. When a man feels *trusted* he rises to the occasion to deliver the goods. It’s the mistrust they (mistakenly) hear in “hinting” that defeats them. Praying for you!

]]> By: Jen http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9340 Jen Wed, 06 Feb 2008 02:31:14 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9340 <b>Mrs. Darling</b>, the "work spouse" thing is apparently fairly common, based on several articles I found this morning. If you think about the fact that the majority of working people's lives are spent away from their "real" spouse, and when spouses return in the evening to their real family, they may sit in front of the TV for a hour or two, tend to children if there are any, and perhaps have an hour together at the most? Yes, quite a contributor to divorce, which is why the article disturbed me, that a so-called professional would endorse the practice. The cautions she gave at the end of the article were meaningless, given that she already touted the benefits of having a "work spouse." <b>e-Mom</b>, I truly do want you to have a Happy Valentine's Day! And I have nothing against the wonderful list you posted - however, the "NOTs" I listed may need to be a prerequisite. Especially for some. I was long prone to setting up unrealistic expectations with disastrous results. This list is critical for some people. And as far as the "hints" that you believe are essential: again, for some. :-) I happen to be married to a man who does not respond well to hints, and they make him feel attacked, manipulated, and on the defensive. I've learned the hard way! <b>Mandi</b>, My husband's not a Valentine's Day hater, but I totally know where you're coming from. It's the fact that all the marketers drag out their wares the second New Year's is over and the red-hearted march is on - buy this, buy this!!! And the chocolate, by all means eat GOOD chocolate - it won't make you sick! <b>Heather</b>, thanks, and I loved your list as well! Mrs. Darling, the “work spouse” thing is apparently fairly common, based on several articles I found this morning. If you think about the fact that the majority of working people’s lives are spent away from their “real” spouse, and when spouses return in the evening to their real family, they may sit in front of the TV for a hour or two, tend to children if there are any, and perhaps have an hour together at the most? Yes, quite a contributor to divorce, which is why the article disturbed me, that a so-called professional would endorse the practice. The cautions she gave at the end of the article were meaningless, given that she already touted the benefits of having a “work spouse.”

e-Mom, I truly do want you to have a Happy Valentine’s Day! And I have nothing against the wonderful list you posted - however, the “NOTs” I listed may need to be a prerequisite. Especially for some. I was long prone to setting up unrealistic expectations with disastrous results. This list is critical for some people. And as far as the “hints” that you believe are essential: again, for some. :-) I happen to be married to a man who does not respond well to hints, and they make him feel attacked, manipulated, and on the defensive. I’ve learned the hard way!

Mandi, My husband’s not a Valentine’s Day hater, but I totally know where you’re coming from. It’s the fact that all the marketers drag out their wares the second New Year’s is over and the red-hearted march is on - buy this, buy this!!! And the chocolate, by all means eat GOOD chocolate - it won’t make you sick!

Heather, thanks, and I loved your list as well!

]]> By: heather http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9339 heather Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:41:33 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9339 An excellent list--wish I had had it years ago. :) An excellent list–wish I had had it years ago. :)

]]> By: mandi http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9338 mandi Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:45:15 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9338 A work spouse!? Yikes! I have a hubby who is a self-proclaimed Valentine's Day hater. I think you have summed up many of the reasons for his sentiments. I had to through expectations out the door long ago and your quote from Heather was right on the mark - I really don't care if I get nothing for V-day, Mother's Day, and so on. Ouch - did I just use a double negative - hey I do remember some grammar from high school! What do ya know! ( : As far as #9 - I pledge not get sick on bad chocolate but if I get some good chocolate, I am not promising anything! ( : Great tips! A work spouse!? Yikes!
I have a hubby who is a self-proclaimed Valentine’s Day hater. I think you have summed up many of the reasons for his sentiments.
I had to through expectations out the door long ago and your quote from Heather was right on the mark - I really don’t care if I get nothing for V-day, Mother’s Day, and so on. Ouch - did I just use a double negative - hey I do remember some grammar from high school! What do ya know! ( :
As far as #9 - I pledge not get sick on bad chocolate but if I get some good chocolate, I am not promising anything! ( :

Great tips!

]]> By: e-Mom http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9337 e-Mom Tue, 05 Feb 2008 23:23:08 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9337 Are you SURE you want me to have a happy Valentine's Day? I feel like a balloon with all the air whooooooshed out! Lol, very clever writing, BTW. RE: #2...I do think though that our men need clear directions from us as to how to bless us on Valentine's Day, or any other day. Hints are essential! Are you SURE you want me to have a happy Valentine’s Day? I feel like a balloon with all the air whooooooshed out!

Lol, very clever writing, BTW.

RE: #2…I do think though that our men need clear directions from us as to how to bless us on Valentine’s Day, or any other day. Hints are essential!

]]> By: mrs darling http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9333 mrs darling Tue, 05 Feb 2008 21:39:39 +0000 http://www.diaryof1.com/2008/02/05/valentines-day-what-not-to-do/#comment-9333 A work spouse? No wonder the divorce rate is so high in this country! Great tips! A work spouse? No wonder the divorce rate is so high in this country!

Great tips!

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