Saying You’re Sorry

I had to write a difficult letter this morning. It started like this:

I am deeply sorry for my words that have brought hurt or division to you and …… It pains me and shames me to think that I’ve been so careless with my remarks that should have remained private or been discussed with you personally. Please forgive me.

Just re-reading that puts a knot in my heart. I just got done writing about maintaining confidentiality and an atmosphere of trust within your marriage, and then I go and bungle it in another area of my life. Doesn’t it seem to work like that sometimes?!

There will always be issues that need working through, whether in your marriage, with your children, extended family, friends, or church family. Proceed with caution! Oh, the power of words…oh, the grace of God.

This place I’m in now is so precious, though, even amidst the pain. I have valid concerns in this present situation, but wasn’t always wise in the search for a resolution. But how else do I learn, sometimes, than through the muddle and trouble?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

I memorized the entire first chapter of James many years ago, when I was barely a young adult and didn’t seem to have a trial on the horizon. But, my, how it’s served me since. Trials take so many forms, some are self-inflicted and others are just the cruelty of the world. Whatever the form of your trial, make wisdom one of your goals, and remember the promise of James: “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)

Back to having to say you’re sorry. This is so often the result of saying things we shouldn’t say in the first place, and James again has a reply: “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” (James 1:26) Ouch. I’m working toward maturity…